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Starting with your SELF

Self-love, self-respect, self-worth… There is a reason they all start with “self“. You cannot find them in anyone else.

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. How much of the way we view and accept ourselves relies on the way that other people view and accept us? Are you only your BEST self if others view you as such? And lastly, how much weight do we put on how others perceive us, vs what we perceive ourselves to be?

It’s cliché, and my writing it won’t let it sink in immediately for you, but it all starts on the inside. If you love, respect and deem yourself as worthy of happiness (and everything else!), then that is all you need.

The perception and viewpoint of others about you doesn’t define who you are and what you’re capable of. I don’t have great advice on how you can begin to see that, other than that you can start with baby steps any time you want.

For me, I notice when I begin going down the rabbit hole, that I literally need to close my eyes and ask God to help me through the moment and to let it pass. Of course, you don’t need God to help with you that, but I prefer having his support. It’s like my internal therapist.

So that’s a baby step I take to make sure my own self talk doesn’t lead me to continue negative thought or emotion. Of course, any aspect of your life could use a little more “self-_______” in it at any given point, but the goal is the remember that it all starts, and ends, within you.

You can’t expect anyone else to fulfill what you need on the inside to feel whole.

To working on the inside, first.

-Aurora

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The 12 Days of Positivity & Self-Care

5A531D3F-91DC-4660-B448-E884D6D7D596.jpegChristmas is around the corner, and I truly believe this is the most WONDERFUL time of the year! Whether you still need to shop and wrap, you’re counting down the days until school and work are over OR you’re relaxing and blasting Christmas music all day (that’s not just me right? 🤷‍♀️😹), this 12 Days countdown is for you!

While the 12 days of Christmas usually begin Dec 25, my 12 Days of Positivity and Self-Care are kicking of Thursday Dec 14, and will last through Christmas Day! Check back each evening around 8:00 EST to see the next Days theme or idea to get your heart and mind ready for Christmas! Please share with someone who loves Christmas or needs to get in the spirit! Visit The Weekly Sparkle Facebook page for more as well! Day 1 will be posted this Wednesday 12/13 @ 8:00pm for Thursday’s kick off! Please see the tab at the top of the Website for the 12 days updates!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Please tag #Sparkle12Days on your social media to get others involved!

To the MOST wonderful time of the year! 🎄❤️- Aurora

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Smiling at Strangers

Let’s talk impact of small gestures:

Smile at strangers. We’re in this together.

Is there any smaller act that can go further? As someone who is always told “You’re always smiling,” I can tell you, it really does have an effect on people. Of course, being a Human Resources professional, I always like to display a positive demeanor and smiling is the easiest way to do that. I also think I’m a happy person for the most part, so it does come naturally.

How about you? Are you someone who looks down at their phone as they walk? Or not make eye contact with the person who held the door for you? Or that you held the door for? These are the moments where human connection is often missed, but could be the most effective. But listen- I get it. Do you need to walk around with a big cheesy grin on your face all day? No. Are you someone who struggles with RBF (I’ll say Resting Bored Face… but I’m sure you know what I mean). RBF is a REAL thing… some of the nicest people I know look like they’re not nice at all when they are resting their face or unaware that people are looking at them. Haha- so it may not come as natural for all of us, but if the intention and the presence in the moment is there- why not smile at a couple of strangers?

It’s a little thing that can go a looooooooooooooong way. Will you do something for me? After reading this, and you go back into your day and life, take some time to smile at people. You interact with more people than you know and without saying a single word, you say so much with a smile.

Without saying a single word, you say so much with a smile.

To being in this together,

-Aurora

Counseling · Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Motivation · Networking · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes

The Reel is not Real

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel 

I’m going to start this post with a hashtag that I’ve created: #TheReelisNotReal 

How many of us become insecure because of something we see on the internet? Ladies, have you ever looked at another woman’s post and thought: “I wish I looked like that.” Have you ever seen someone’s relationship posts and thought: “I wish I was that happy in my relationship.” To the gents out there, ever see abs you wish you had or the perfect woman with the perfect guy and wish that was you? Ever see someone with the perfect job you wish you had? Welcome to Instagram and most of social media my friends. 

BUT LISTEN UP:::::::: 

The Highlight Reel of peoples lives that you see online is not their life, I would gamble, 90% of the time! The loving relationship, perfectly fit body, amazing career, perfect hair… these are all things we want, but comparing your whole life situation to one persons post, is causing more issues and insecurity because you believe that what you’re seeing is someone’s 100% life. It ISN’T

I do believe that majority of people who post their Highlight Reel aren’t trying to make anyone feel bad, insecure or less than them- they’re posting the things that make them feel good, proud, pretty, lucky etc. We all do that! BUT this is about our responses to the Reel. You can’t be critical of yourself over perfection you see on the internet. The perfection that most likely took:

  •  25 takes
  • The perfect lighting
  • Face Tune
  • Do-overs
  • Photoshop
  • etc etc etc etc etc

It is proven that depression rates have gone up in our country among children and adults because of what they compare themselves to online posts. It’s. So. Sad. But it’s also a reality. So how do you stop this? How do you feel more secure with yourself and not compare yourself to ideals you see online? I haven’t mastered this yet, but I tell myself that anyone or anything I admire on the internet, 9 times out of 10, has their own issues, too. The seemingly perfect couples gets into drag out fights, the girl with a perfect body took a half hour picking a filter and whitening her teeth with FaceTune (although I do love that app), the person who lost 100lbs (GO THEM), feels like they haven’t lost enough… it’s in all of us!  And what better way to help dig yourself out of your thoughts than to realize you’re not alone? ♡

The internet is a tricky place. Especially social media. How do you fall in line with posting positive things & not airing your dirty laundry? The truth to that, I think, is being an authentic post-er. I thought about this after following an amazing initiative #Realstagram through Raw Beauty Talks and how they’re empowering instagrammers and social media gurus to be themselves online, while still posting or promoting what they are all about or trying to sell. How…? By posting a makeup-free selfie or writing the truth behind the perfect picture you just posted (*not seen: my dog bitting a hole through my favorite shoe as I capture my perfectly puckered kissy face*).  I love this. 

In closing, friends- try and be nice to yourself. And while you’re at it- remember that the entire internet who posts away each day feels the exact same way you do– just a tad bit insecure. But just as they share that with you, remember their posts are mainly their Highlight Reel and not their Behind The Scenes. We all have that, too. ♡

To appreciating the genuine you ★ ☆ ✰

-Aurora