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If You Can’t Be Kind, Be Quiet.

Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of STRENGTH.

This week I came across a few instances and reminders of how important it is to be KIND. Most importantly, I was reminded how important it is to be kind, even when someone isn’t being kind to you or has done something hurtful or rude to you. YIKES is that a hard one or what? You know me, and my likelihood of being a positivity promoter, but how can you do that when someone is rude or mean to you?

It isn’t easy!

There is someone in my life, whom I care a lot about, that sometimes falls in the category I mentioned above. Every once in awhile, they cross that line of no return: they say something that is mean, rude or insensitive, and it leaves me wondering:

what the heck did I do do deserve that?

So when I tell you that I KNOW being kind to a rude person is not easy, I mean it. How can you turn the cheek when it’s someone close to you and also, how do you turn the cheek when it’s someone NOT close to you (maybe a boss, co-worker, person on the street, acquaintance, social media troll etc). I’ll touch on both of these topics:

  1. Someone close to you. I just paused and sighed as I wrote that. This is probably the worst. I am a firm believer in that if you allow someone to continuously treat you a certain way {good or bad}, that they will continue to do so, because it’s a learned, established behavior. In my adult life, I’ve never had a problem with confrontation, nor do I view tough conversations as negative, because I believe they’re important to reach a positive outcome. I expect, that if we’re having a mature conversation, that two adults should be able to come to a resolution, even if not right away, {or if there’s some screaming and yelling}, because they both should have the same desired outcome- a resolution. If the other person isn’t on this same page, or isn’t open to mature discussion (right away or ever), the Road Less Traveled here, is Kindness. I think this is most applicable with people who might not be being anywhere (family, bosses, co-workers etc). People do not have to be on the same page as you for you to be kind to them. By being kind, you’re respecting that they aren’t where you’re at and whatever position it is that they have in your life. My advice, you remain calm and kind to these people. Be the example of how they should act, and remember, being kind always puts you in right.

2. Someone NOT close to you. These people ALWAYS get 1 of 2 things from me: a quick witted (but KIND, sometimes sarcastic) response OR a smile and no response at all.

Because sometimes, being KIND also means keeping your mouth shut.

Especially when you know it won’t help make the situation better. In my career, it’s not uncommon for me to have hard conversations with employees, and every once in awhile, a rude, unnecessary comment gets directed toward me. Sometimes it’s public, sometimes it’s behind closed doors, but it does happen. I would say 99.9% of the time, it has nothing to do with me, and more about the issue at hand, so I always try to remember that. This might be an occasion where I smile and not say much, or I respond kindly and try to understand their view. This is also where I practice keeping my mouth shut. Is there someone in your workplace bothering you? Can you try harder to keep a smile, and focus on yourself? It’s not easy people, but I’m telling you- It’s Worth IT!

I think another place we see this is in our own communities and day-to-day interactions with strangers. It is SO important to remember Kindness, even when we are in a rush or having a bad day. Why? Because of the ripple-effect not being kind can have. Imagine the impact you can make in someones day by going out of your way to be Kind, rather than the opposite effect of what being rude, mean or frustrated can create.

I’m going to leave you with inspiration I’ve gained over the last week. I began following Real Talk Kim on Twitter and think she is one of the realest, most genuine people on there! She’s all about keeping it real, while also promoting positivity, faith and being Kind. I also listen weekly to the Podcast of my favorite Bachelorette, Kaitlyn Bristowe  and her guests this week, Lauren Paul and Molly Thompson, are the creators of the Kind Campaign. This campaign focuses on girl on girl bullying, and it’s lasting effects, while also taking a preventative measure, focusing on forgiveness and KINDness. It’s truly remarkable, and I encourage you to check it out. I’m passing along the inspiration I received from them, so help keep the chain going!

What a difference we could all make if we chose to treat one another with Kindness, even, and especially when, it isn’t easy.

And remember…

Now go spread some Kindess!

Cheers,

-Aurora

Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Family · Friendship · Goals · Housekeeping · Motivation · Networking · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Think 3 Happy Thoughts

This Weeks Challenge:

 

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Why you ask? Because it feels better than beginning the day with negativity, anxiety, stress or an ungrateful heart.

My challenge to you is that you TRY YOUR HARDEST to take a moment and reflect on 3 things you are grateful for EVERY morning!.. and project your gratitude on the day ahead of you.

Did you know…

 

That 98% of the things we worry about DON’T EVEN HAPPEN? It’s true!! So why not start your morning on the best foot possible and make the most of your morning and day. Here are my 3 gratitude reflections:

I am grateful for…

  1. My supportive husband
  2. My job, where I feel supported, respected and appreciated more than ever
  3. That my dog didn’t lay ontop of me the entire next last night (like this whole past week!), so I could get a full nights rest!

What are you grateful for?

Cheers,

-Aurora

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Casting Your Insecurities On Someone Else

I could really take this post so many routes, but I’ll stick with the title: Casting Your Insecurities On Someone Else. What does this quote me?

Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine any brighter.

I’ve seen this thought so many times and always look to it as one of my favorites. How many times have we, or someone we know, put down something about others because it’s meant to downplay an insecurity that we or another have.

I’ve had a lot of examples in my own life lately that bring me back to this quote. I’ve seen people I’m close with put down a thought or an action of someone we know, because (in reality) it’s making them feel better about a shortcoming or insecurity that they have about themselves.

I guess when I think about this, my conclusion is, before we tear someone down or judge them, take a second to think inward. Nine times out of 10, critiques and negativity toward others stem from our own insecurities and things we want to change (or don’t like) about ourselves.

Can’t you think about a time where you blew out someone’s candle to make yours shine brighter? I bet you can.

To blowing out less candles,

-Aurora

Community Giving · Counseling · Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Housekeeping · Motivation · Networking · New Year · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Why you can Begin, Again

I’ve thought about these 2 words, almost obsessively, for the last month and a half. Begin Again. Aurora, you can BEGIN.AGAIN. 

It’s funny, a new year starts and all of a sudden you’re given this feeling that everything can start fresh. 11:59 changing to 12:00 on January 1st sparks something that gives you the feeling that you can do anything this upcoming year. For all of the social media posts that I see stating things like “New Year, New Me,” Or “This Year is My Year,” I also see the ones telling us that we don’t need a new year to start something new. That we don’t need a new year to wipe the slate clean, start over, get a new job, leave that lousy relationship, lose the weight, begin the hobby etc. I always fell in the category of the first group of people, because the new year, to me, felt like an auto-delete of anything you’ve been unhappy with, and provides the (whether you like it or not) birth of something new.  It’s a fresh start.

This new year was different for me though- I didn’t make many changes I was hoping to, to jump start 2018. I began the year sick, had a sudden loss of someone close to my family and found that after all of this died down, I wanted to rest. Rather than propel myself into my “New Year New Me” attitude, I wanted to take a breather.

And the above, really got me thinking.

What are the things I want to change this year? Why do I want to change them and what’s the motivation to do so? Why did I have to start January 1st, and why can’t I start anytime? While the excitement of a new year has always been something to motivate me, the reasons WHY I want to make these changes should be enough to motivate me to get going. To begin, again.

So starting with the publishing of this post, I’m giving myself permission to BEGIN again. It’s not 1/1/18, nor did the clock turning to midnight last night mean anything spectacular… it just meant it’s my day to be ready to press play. What am I pressing play on?

  1. Lent begins tomorrow. That means, for Catholics, preparing for the death and resurrection of Jesus. AKA I’m gonna continue attending church weekly and being more mindful of prayer and the big G!
  2. I need to get my work out on!  I know when I’m stressed or feeling low, that a good work out can boost my energy and help me feel more productive throughout the day. This means, 3+ more gym visits a week and minding my diet. I also think this will include runs with my pup… because she loves that!
  3. Reading my mountain of books at home before buying more. I’ve been averaging 1 every 2 weeks, so, so far so good.
  4. Reestablishing connections with the family and friends in my life that I haven’t spoken with as much as I’d like to. Sometimes you have to be the one to initiate, and it’s better to help build than to wait. My brother is doing this one too, so having that reminder helps too!
  5. Get more sleep. There is no explanation needed here.
  6. Lastly, I’m going to put my positivity and inspirational attitude to the test. I’ve always been proud of the way I carry myself and engage others with my warmth and excitedness for life. Some things in my life have gotten me to feeling a little unlike myself, so I’m going to work harder to put my best attributes forward.

Is there anything you need to Begin Again?

I encourage you and pray that you do it… because you owe it to yourself to!

To beginning again, cheers.

-Aurora

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Happy New Year!

This is the best thing about a new year… it’s a chance to start new!… a fresh clean slate! The best thing about the past year… it’s gone! It’s amazing- one single day can make such a huge difference when you think about where you’ve been and where you want to go. The new year is a chance (and fuel) to kick of something you really want to do or reach for a goal you really want to obtain.

Let tomorrow be your chance to kick off the new year in a way you’ve been wanting to! Don’t want to start any changes or resolutions tomorrow? Then don’t!… the same energy of the new year can be there once you’re ready! One of the biggest failures of resolutions is starting when you’re not ready! The holidays can make it hard to set your goals in stone, so take your time!

As an optimistic person, the line that caught me here is the final one, and I believe this to be true: only the best is yet to come. 🖤

Happy New Year xo< em>-Aurora

Counseling · Entrepreneur · Faith · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Motivation · Networking · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Of All The Things That Happened, What Didn’t?

C7C2C468-050D-4046-B613-FDA41CB94E98Sometimes you need to thank God for what didn’t happen. Thank Him for the things He’s stopped that you knew nothing about.

How deep is this? Trust me, I know. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, especially as we head into the time of year thinking about things we are thankful for, spending time with loved ones, exchanging gifts etc. We all have the scenarios in our lives that we wish played out differently. Maybe it’s a lost relationship, a negative situation or argument or even that one job you wanted to get that never worked out. God’s plan is so much bigger than ours that we can’t begin to fathom it’s greatness and complexity.

And let’s talk about gratitude- It’s so much easier to be thankful for something when you wanted it and now appreciate having it. How about the things we never had to endure or go through because God stopped them from happening? There are very few times in our life where we can see something almost happened and didn’t (and we become grateful), but what about the things we can’t see? I’ll tell you what- these thoughts alone are enough to make me grateful.

To know that God has had my back my whole life and continues to do so, regardless of my continued praise and appreciation that I may forget to show sometimes. How amazing it is to have the ultimate spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bodyguard, even if you forget to say thanks every once in awhile.

Thank you for all the things that didn’t happen.

-Aurora

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Why You Should Choose Wisely on Who Surrounds You

Be around the light bringers, the magic makers, the world shifters, the game shakers. They’ll challenge you, break you open, uplift and expand you. They don’t play small with your life. These heartbeats are your people. These people are your tribe

Ohhhhhhh the feels this saying gives me!! I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile, as I usually do when I come across some good quotes. If it jumps out at me for one reason or another, I save it, diguest it and decide if I want to pick it apart a little bit with you guys. 

So there’s two parts here that I want to address: the people you surround yourself with and the impact they have on you, and also whether or not you’re exuding your best qualities, wanting others to be surrounded by you. 

1. Who you surround yourself with. This is SO important for so many reasons. When we talk about “light bringers” and “magic makers” did you have someone pop in to your mind?? KEEP THAT PERSON AROUND! Now don’t get me wrong, we’re not booting all friends and acquaintances out of circle if we’re not describing them as magical, uplifting, game changers etc. What is most important in my point here is that you have those people or circles you’re involved with that feed your soul, purpose, direction you want to go, goals you want to reach etc. If you’re looking around your regular circles and not liking how you feel/what you see/ what’s being discussed/done etc etc etc by all means, change your scenery. Move. You’re not a tree. (I blogged about this idea once too…) 

For me, I have a ton of fun, adventurous and goofy friends that are great to hang out with. Then I also have some key inspirational people in my life that I trust for advice, look to for personal and professional growth, people I look up to, etc. It’s great to have multiple circles you’re in, but I can’t express enough that having these game shakers in your corner are amazing. These people can help you while you discover your own potential, make and reach goals and be a positive presence in your life. Have you ever heard the saying: you’re only as good as the company you keep. If you’re always surrounded by people who aren’t helping you grow and become a better person, I recommend changing some of your circles. It’s not easy, but the pay off will be worth it. And you’ll FEEL better! Negative people can suck the life out of you, rob you of happy moments and removing as much of this as possible is bound to bring nothing but positive effects into your life. 

2. Do people view you as their magic maker, game shaker, light bringer, motivator etc? I hope they do! Just how you will THRIVE with these people in your corner, how amazing would it be to be that for someone else? This life will always reward those who make it their mission to help others... I firmly believe that. Where in your life can you be the light and motivation someone needs?

I try and do this through the many organizations and groups I’ve become a part of in the Lehigh Valley where I live. I get to network with young professionals and invite them to become a part of an amazing philanthropic professional group that helps them to give Back locally, meet top local business owners and CEOs as well as build great relationships within their peer group. I personally reach out to individuals I meet that I think would be a great part of the group and help them determine if it’s a good fit! Other times, I’m inspiring others to become a part of  committees I’m involved in, volunteer opportunities I’m organizing or involved in and lastly I ALWAYS use my professional expertise to help my friends/ old co-workers / sometimes even acquaintances. As an HR, I’m often asked to write recommendations, Linked In testimonys, review resumes, practice interviewing skills etc. Its an honor people as me for my help, but it’s also so humbling to know that for these people, I’m the motivator, the light bringer, whatever you want to call it- I’m that for these people. 

If you have something you can do to bring your magic to  others, do it! 
Here’s my other favorite quote that I’ve used before but LOVE Bc it’s all about surrounding yourself with the right people! 
Watch who you surround yourself with, and be someone that others want to be surrounded by! 

Be someone’s light ✨

-Aurora