Counseling · Faith · Friendship · Journaling · Living with Intention · Motivation · Networking · Self Realization · Uncategorized

You Need To Forgive That Person, Today.

YIKES

Do you see the awkward shape of this photo? It’s because it’s a fortune from a fortune cookie I opened about a week ago. I got this one, while my husbands fortune said something about coming into money soon and my friends fortune gave her winning lottery numbers. Compared to them, how on earth did I get the deep fortune?! And since when did fortunes become so inspiring? This specifically meant a lot to me, because I’ve had some things weighing on my heart, and they have to do with forgiveness.

I’m not someone who holds grudges. Usually, if something is bothering me, or I’m upset, I share it. To me, there aren’t many things stronger than a good conversation that is open and honest. Even if it’s hard, it hurts, leads to an argument- talking these things out eventually makes relationships stronger, or shows you who may not belong in your life.

Of course, I wasn’t always this way, but over the years, I’ve learned to give people the benefit of the doubt, and welcome conversation before simply writing someone off. I’m sure this goes along with growing up and maturing… but I also know there are plenty of people out there who don’t take an approach similar to mine.

So who do I need to forgive?!

img_6787

It’s the juicy part, sure, but it’s also the part that would distract the point of this blog. And what is the point exactly? It’s simple: if there is someone in your life that you need to forgive, you just need to do it. Even if they owe you an apology, but their ego will never allow for them to see it, or if you know they feel remorse, but the battle of who was right and who was wrong isn’t worth it- you just need to forgive.

The truth is, when I flipped to the above thought in my You Are A Badass Daily Calendar today, it couldn’t have been more spot on to how I’ve already been feeling. If we sit and wait for validation or apologies proving we were right in a situation we felt we were wronged, we’re wasting our time. Time we could be happy and feeling grateful for the positive relationships in our lives.

So I am choosing to forgive– leaving negativity at the door and moving forward into a more positive way of thinking about those I’ve needed to forgive… and then I’m letting it go.

I’m letting it go.

Who in your life do you need to forgive and let go of negative feelings about?! A close friend, an acquaintance, someone you don’t speak to anymore? Forgive them. For yourself, forgive them. Today. Just believe me.

Feeling a lot lighter as I close out this post.

To forgiveness 💛

Aurora

Advertisements
Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Forgiving… And The Ability To Let It Go.

20130501-183039.jpg

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

There is no need to sugarcoat this. The word forgiveness is something that brings up a lot of emotion for me, as it does the same for many I have spoken with about the subject. To forgive someone can be hard, as well as asking someone we hurt to give us forgiveness. In thinking about this lately, I ask why is it so hard to give and grant forgiveness?

So let’s break this down: Ego, Insecurity and Fear. Why is it so hard to ask to be forgiven? Or, in other words, offer an apology. The first stop would be to identify what’s getting in the way. Ego… feeling that you don’t need to apologize, or are better than the situation. Insecurity… are you insecure about the situation?… Afraid to open up or be viewed as vulnerable/in the wrong? Or, fear, do you think that the issue is so severe that apologizing wouldn’t do any good and isn’t worth the shot?

I can tell you that I’ve at one point or another felt all of these ways in my life, and I’ll give you the advice that I eventually made my way to: Get Over Yourself. When you identify what it is exactly that’s getting in the way, the answer should never be something that involves YOU and your insecurities, drawbacks, worries, etc. When you care about a person or situation, your intent needs to be around making things right, regardless of how you’re perceived or viewed by others and how hard you need to swallow your pride.

Bringing me to 2. Why is it hard for us to forgive those who have hurt us? Well, this breaks into an A & B category: Has the person apologized and you’re unwilling to accept the apology and forgive them, or have they not extended an apology and you’re holding resentment because of it? A. We all have needed forgiveness in our life. Accept apologies and allow yourself and the other person to move forward. Forgiving breaks the chains of anger and resentment, even when it’s not easy. B. The HARDEST time to forgive someone is when they’ve hurt you (no matter how severely), but are unwilling to apologize, or do not recognize that they need to be forgiven. These are the most important times we need to let it go. You cannot change the way people think or their ability to be accountable for what they say and do. As Smedes says, you need to set the prisoner free… In forgiving at this moment, you’re doing that- for yourself.

My stance on forgiveness is this: in times during my life where I have done wrong by others, I’ve learned that it’s always better for both parties when you own up to the wrong you’ve done and clear the air when necessary. This doesn’t mean the person will accept your apology, but at least you will know you’ve done the right thing and can move forward from the situation. Whether you are the one giving or receiving forgiveness, I challenge you to let go; you can’t move forward without doing so.

“Learn from mistakes, admit when you’re wrong and apologize when it’s due. Forgiveness isn’t the problem… people are sometimes too proud or stubborn to ask for it”

Forgive, for yourself.

Sparkle on, Aurora