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If You Can’t Be Kind, Be Quiet.

Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of STRENGTH.

This week I came across a few instances and reminders of how important it is to be KIND. Most importantly, I was reminded how important it is to be kind, even when someone isn’t being kind to you or has done something hurtful or rude to you. YIKES is that a hard one or what? You know me, and my likelihood of being a positivity promoter, but how can you do that when someone is rude or mean to you?

It isn’t easy!

There is someone in my life, whom I care a lot about, that sometimes falls in the category I mentioned above. Every once in awhile, they cross that line of no return: they say something that is mean, rude or insensitive, and it leaves me wondering:

what the heck did I do do deserve that?

So when I tell you that I KNOW being kind to a rude person is not easy, I mean it. How can you turn the cheek when it’s someone close to you and also, how do you turn the cheek when it’s someone NOT close to you (maybe a boss, co-worker, person on the street, acquaintance, social media troll etc). I’ll touch on both of these topics:

  1. Someone close to you. I just paused and sighed as I wrote that. This is probably the worst. I am a firm believer in that if you allow someone to continuously treat you a certain way {good or bad}, that they will continue to do so, because it’s a learned, established behavior. In my adult life, I’ve never had a problem with confrontation, nor do I view tough conversations as negative, because I believe they’re important to reach a positive outcome. I expect, that if we’re having a mature conversation, that two adults should be able to come to a resolution, even if not right away, {or if there’s some screaming and yelling}, because they both should have the same desired outcome- a resolution. If the other person isn’t on this same page, or isn’t open to mature discussion (right away or ever), the Road Less Traveled here, is Kindness. I think this is most applicable with people who might not be being anywhere (family, bosses, co-workers etc). People do not have to be on the same page as you for you to be kind to them. By being kind, you’re respecting that they aren’t where you’re at and whatever position it is that they have in your life. My advice, you remain calm and kind to these people. Be the example of how they should act, and remember, being kind always puts you in right.

2. Someone NOT close to you. These people ALWAYS get 1 of 2 things from me: a quick witted (but KIND, sometimes sarcastic) response OR a smile and no response at all.

Because sometimes, being KIND also means keeping your mouth shut.

Especially when you know it won’t help make the situation better. In my career, it’s not uncommon for me to have hard conversations with employees, and every once in awhile, a rude, unnecessary comment gets directed toward me. Sometimes it’s public, sometimes it’s behind closed doors, but it does happen. I would say 99.9% of the time, it has nothing to do with me, and more about the issue at hand, so I always try to remember that. This might be an occasion where I smile and not say much, or I respond kindly and try to understand their view. This is also where I practice keeping my mouth shut. Is there someone in your workplace bothering you? Can you try harder to keep a smile, and focus on yourself? It’s not easy people, but I’m telling you- It’s Worth IT!

I think another place we see this is in our own communities and day-to-day interactions with strangers. It is SO important to remember Kindness, even when we are in a rush or having a bad day. Why? Because of the ripple-effect not being kind can have. Imagine the impact you can make in someones day by going out of your way to be Kind, rather than the opposite effect of what being rude, mean or frustrated can create.

I’m going to leave you with inspiration I’ve gained over the last week. I began following Real Talk Kim on Twitter and think she is one of the realest, most genuine people on there! She’s all about keeping it real, while also promoting positivity, faith and being Kind. I also listen weekly to the Podcast of my favorite Bachelorette, Kaitlyn Bristowe  and her guests this week, Lauren Paul and Molly Thompson, are the creators of the Kind Campaign. This campaign focuses on girl on girl bullying, and it’s lasting effects, while also taking a preventative measure, focusing on forgiveness and KINDness. It’s truly remarkable, and I encourage you to check it out. I’m passing along the inspiration I received from them, so help keep the chain going!

What a difference we could all make if we chose to treat one another with Kindness, even, and especially when, it isn’t easy.

And remember…

Now go spread some Kindess!

Cheers,

-Aurora

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Think 3 Happy Thoughts

This Weeks Challenge:

 

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Why you ask? Because it feels better than beginning the day with negativity, anxiety, stress or an ungrateful heart.

My challenge to you is that you TRY YOUR HARDEST to take a moment and reflect on 3 things you are grateful for EVERY morning!.. and project your gratitude on the day ahead of you.

Did you know…

 

That 98% of the things we worry about DON’T EVEN HAPPEN? It’s true!! So why not start your morning on the best foot possible and make the most of your morning and day. Here are my 3 gratitude reflections:

I am grateful for…

  1. My supportive husband
  2. My job, where I feel supported, respected and appreciated more than ever
  3. That my dog didn’t lay ontop of me the entire next last night (like this whole past week!), so I could get a full nights rest!

What are you grateful for?

Cheers,

-Aurora

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Casting Your Insecurities On Someone Else

I could really take this post so many routes, but I’ll stick with the title: Casting Your Insecurities On Someone Else. What does this quote me?

Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine any brighter.

I’ve seen this thought so many times and always look to it as one of my favorites. How many times have we, or someone we know, put down something about others because it’s meant to downplay an insecurity that we or another have.

I’ve had a lot of examples in my own life lately that bring me back to this quote. I’ve seen people I’m close with put down a thought or an action of someone we know, because (in reality) it’s making them feel better about a shortcoming or insecurity that they have about themselves.

I guess when I think about this, my conclusion is, before we tear someone down or judge them, take a second to think inward. Nine times out of 10, critiques and negativity toward others stem from our own insecurities and things we want to change (or don’t like) about ourselves.

Can’t you think about a time where you blew out someone’s candle to make yours shine brighter? I bet you can.

To blowing out less candles,

-Aurora

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Traveling Before Kids

After my husband and I got married over a year and a half ago, we said we’d enjoy some married time together and then move on to making a family. We unofficially began making a “bucket list” of things we wanted to do before we {God willing}, began having kids.

Now don’t get me wrong- anything on our list {hitting financial goals, buying a house, raising a puppy, taking a tropical vacation, going to Disney etc} aren’t hard stops for us. If at any point we were blessed with or wanted to begin having babies, we would. These are things we talked about, however, that we wouldn’t mind doing before the children brigade begins.

First thing that both of us put on our unofficial list after buying a house and getting our puppy:

DISNEY!

Yup… we both wanted to visit the Happiest Place on Earth and experience it as adults before hopefully taking our kiddos along in a few years.

As I write this post from our bed at the Walt Disney World resorts, I can tell you that this trip has been incredible so far! As a first time Disney World visitor, I’ve had zero complaints during this experience.

Everyone here is so nice!

And while we are here with a bunch of great friends, what I love the most about trips like this with my husband, is that it creates lasting memories for us and continues to strengthen our married relationship.

I think that’s the part we both wanted out of spending this time together before expanding our family- we’re getting to know each other as Life-Long partners and friends inside of the lovey-dovey marriage experience. Does that make sense?

To my amazing readers, I’ll leave here is:

GO ON THE TRIPS!

While we are trying to be financially savvy, my husband and I also work our butts off year round, so we can enjoy some trips like this! If you have a good job, do good work and put the time in- take some time to have fun! Book the trip, go to that place, have that experience and ENJOY. A year ago, Disney was on the list, and now we’re here. We of course have motivation that helps guide our decisions to say “Yes” and jump in, so even if yours is different- Do it!

Traveling is fun, but getting to continue building this relationship with my husband means more than anything. I know that one day when we’re traveling with our kiddos and making new memories that these moments will also be ones that I cherish- The times where we were able to be two young newlyweds, experiencing life a building a strong foundation for a family.

The last thing I’ll throw out there is the saying many of us have heard: man plans and God laughs. That being said, the believer in me knows, if his plans are different, they’ll supersede ours- but in the meantime, you can find us at Cinderella’s Castle. 💖

To the travel bugs out there- do it!

Cheers,

Aurora

PS: Disney favorites so far: AVATAR, The Fireworks Display @ Cinderella’s Castle, Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Dinosaurs, Escaping Everest, Rainforest Cafe, Animal Safari in Animal Kingdom. Up next: Epcot, Drink Around The World, Ohana Restaurant, Rockin Roller Coaster, Frozen, the Tower of Terror and much more! Have any recommendations? Comment below!!

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Why you can Begin, Again

I’ve thought about these 2 words, almost obsessively, for the last month and a half. Begin Again. Aurora, you can BEGIN.AGAIN. 

It’s funny, a new year starts and all of a sudden you’re given this feeling that everything can start fresh. 11:59 changing to 12:00 on January 1st sparks something that gives you the feeling that you can do anything this upcoming year. For all of the social media posts that I see stating things like “New Year, New Me,” Or “This Year is My Year,” I also see the ones telling us that we don’t need a new year to start something new. That we don’t need a new year to wipe the slate clean, start over, get a new job, leave that lousy relationship, lose the weight, begin the hobby etc. I always fell in the category of the first group of people, because the new year, to me, felt like an auto-delete of anything you’ve been unhappy with, and provides the (whether you like it or not) birth of something new.  It’s a fresh start.

This new year was different for me though- I didn’t make many changes I was hoping to, to jump start 2018. I began the year sick, had a sudden loss of someone close to my family and found that after all of this died down, I wanted to rest. Rather than propel myself into my “New Year New Me” attitude, I wanted to take a breather.

And the above, really got me thinking.

What are the things I want to change this year? Why do I want to change them and what’s the motivation to do so? Why did I have to start January 1st, and why can’t I start anytime? While the excitement of a new year has always been something to motivate me, the reasons WHY I want to make these changes should be enough to motivate me to get going. To begin, again.

So starting with the publishing of this post, I’m giving myself permission to BEGIN again. It’s not 1/1/18, nor did the clock turning to midnight last night mean anything spectacular… it just meant it’s my day to be ready to press play. What am I pressing play on?

  1. Lent begins tomorrow. That means, for Catholics, preparing for the death and resurrection of Jesus. AKA I’m gonna continue attending church weekly and being more mindful of prayer and the big G!
  2. I need to get my work out on!  I know when I’m stressed or feeling low, that a good work out can boost my energy and help me feel more productive throughout the day. This means, 3+ more gym visits a week and minding my diet. I also think this will include runs with my pup… because she loves that!
  3. Reading my mountain of books at home before buying more. I’ve been averaging 1 every 2 weeks, so, so far so good.
  4. Reestablishing connections with the family and friends in my life that I haven’t spoken with as much as I’d like to. Sometimes you have to be the one to initiate, and it’s better to help build than to wait. My brother is doing this one too, so having that reminder helps too!
  5. Get more sleep. There is no explanation needed here.
  6. Lastly, I’m going to put my positivity and inspirational attitude to the test. I’ve always been proud of the way I carry myself and engage others with my warmth and excitedness for life. Some things in my life have gotten me to feeling a little unlike myself, so I’m going to work harder to put my best attributes forward.

Is there anything you need to Begin Again?

I encourage you and pray that you do it… because you owe it to yourself to!

To beginning again, cheers.

-Aurora

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Happy New Year!

This is the best thing about a new year… it’s a chance to start new!… a fresh clean slate! The best thing about the past year… it’s gone! It’s amazing- one single day can make such a huge difference when you think about where you’ve been and where you want to go. The new year is a chance (and fuel) to kick of something you really want to do or reach for a goal you really want to obtain.

Let tomorrow be your chance to kick off the new year in a way you’ve been wanting to! Don’t want to start any changes or resolutions tomorrow? Then don’t!… the same energy of the new year can be there once you’re ready! One of the biggest failures of resolutions is starting when you’re not ready! The holidays can make it hard to set your goals in stone, so take your time!

As an optimistic person, the line that caught me here is the final one, and I believe this to be true: only the best is yet to come. 🖤

Happy New Year xo< em>-Aurora

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Of All The Things That Happened, What Didn’t?

C7C2C468-050D-4046-B613-FDA41CB94E98Sometimes you need to thank God for what didn’t happen. Thank Him for the things He’s stopped that you knew nothing about.

How deep is this? Trust me, I know. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, especially as we head into the time of year thinking about things we are thankful for, spending time with loved ones, exchanging gifts etc. We all have the scenarios in our lives that we wish played out differently. Maybe it’s a lost relationship, a negative situation or argument or even that one job you wanted to get that never worked out. God’s plan is so much bigger than ours that we can’t begin to fathom it’s greatness and complexity.

And let’s talk about gratitude- It’s so much easier to be thankful for something when you wanted it and now appreciate having it. How about the things we never had to endure or go through because God stopped them from happening? There are very few times in our life where we can see something almost happened and didn’t (and we become grateful), but what about the things we can’t see? I’ll tell you what- these thoughts alone are enough to make me grateful.

To know that God has had my back my whole life and continues to do so, regardless of my continued praise and appreciation that I may forget to show sometimes. How amazing it is to have the ultimate spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bodyguard, even if you forget to say thanks every once in awhile.

Thank you for all the things that didn’t happen.

-Aurora

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Viewing Battles as Blessings

“If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting”

Have you ever gone through a rough patch? My guess is that your answer is probably “yes,” since if you’re reading this you’re most likely human and that comes with the territory. Life is not always easy– which I know I am not the first to tell you this, but sometimes the going truly gets tough… and your response to these moments are pretty important. Take it from me- about 3 months ago I was at a point that felt pretty low: I was miserable in my job, I was being forced to move out of my rental and my loving, amazing Grandmother passed away.

The “Everything Happens in Threes” saying completely applied to my life, and I thought that if a 4th thing occurred, I would break.

As a positive-minded person, of course I knew things would get better; As a person full of faith, I knew God had bigger, better plans for me and was with me; As a person with an amazing husband, family and friends, I knew there were people that would not let me fall and that would have my back along the way. This doesn’t make the rough time any more bearable, nor does it make the pain/sadness/worry/insecurity pass any faster- because you don’t know at the time how good life can be in the future. You’re stuck in the “now.” But hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20. Would it have made any of the feelings I had at the time better if I could see the future? Maybe not, but maybe if I knew life would be amazing now, back then, the anxiety over the unforeseen future would be gone. Which for me personally, was the biggest part.

THE GOOD THING IS THOUGH…

when you finally reach the light at the end of the dark tunnel, only then can you understand why the battle was worth it.

Every decision, every road block, any negativity or sadness you faced- it lead you here. Now that I’ve reached the end of my tunnel, I can tell you that the blessings have been worth the battle, even though it was hard to see when the light at the end of the tunnel was only a speck. So if you’re going through the battle now, I can tell you IT GETS BETTER, and although it’s easier to read than believe, everything you are looking for is through the tunnel. To reach the blessings you need to go through the battle.

I recently began my dream job (Seriously… I’m so grateful!), am moving into my new home with my husband (that we LOVE!!) and I have extreme peace with my Grandmothers passing and know that she is with me always and that I’m a better person for knowing her.

If the battle is huge, the blessings are BIGGER!!!! If you’re in the dark, keep going!! If you’ve reached the end of your tunnel, good!

To the battles that help us appreciate the blessings,

Aurora

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Be Soft.

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

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I love this saying! In a world where everyone takes everything so personal and has their negative input against this or that, how amazing of a reminder it is to see that it’s okay for us to still feel positive about where we are. I constantly find myself in this internal conflict of whether or not to be consumed by those who are negative, as opposed to staying where I want to be- the positive side. Help me out here, but how many of you can think of one or two people in your life who are always negative? Whether they complain about every day things, gossip about others or tear others down or give their viewpoint about something, but it always seems to have a rain cloud over it. Isn’t it draining?? I interact with people like this at random, and those moments with them (and usually moments following) I feel so overwhelmed and drained. How can someone feel like that all the time? I imagine it’s difficult, and viewing the world where it’s always raining has to steam from more pain than I’m aware of. I just hate the effect I down times allow it to have on me. 

A friend of mine from high school wrote on his senior picture to me “Aurora, don’t let the world change who you are.” And this has always stuck with me as I navigate negative situations as they arise. It’s so important to remain who you are, even when faced with something you feel it’s easy to fall into. 

The world is a beautiful place… and my little itty bitty blog will always serve as the constant reminder of that. We all are entitled to our bad days (trust me… I’ve had a dozen or two), but I think it’s always important to remember life is good. Being alive is good… and the only person who impacts that viewpoint is you.

xo

Aurora

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Becoming An Adult

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It’s amazing to look back on to areas in my life that helped me grow into the person I am now. I’ve always been a huge believer in the fact that we will become what is put into us as a child and adolescent. What we learn, who we look up to, what we’re told is important and what we see with our own eyes, is what molds us into the adults we will become. I’m often complemented on my positive outlook and ability to see the goodness in bad situations. Having come from a childhood where I was taught to believe the best in people and to always let the good shine through when everything seemed bad, I can see where this comes so naturally for me today as an adult.

In the same respect, it would be easy to understand where people can be molded in an opposite way. When you grow up surrounded by turmoil and don’t have the best role models, how can you have strong expectations of what it is to be an adult? It’s not easy. It is with hopes that there is one person in your life who can help pull you from the rubble, or that you have it within you to rise about your previous circumstances.

I’ve had the opportunity to know people who are self motivated and moved beyond their current or past situations. Let me take it a step further as to what I’m defining situations or circumstances as: they’re the times in our lives when things unfold in a way that doesn’t seem right or is less than desirable. This could be a tough family life, financial issues, drug or alcohol abuse, neglect, etc. While we may struggle to figure out what’s right and wrong, there are always resources and people there to help guide those of us who need it. You just have to be open to {and want to} find it.

It’s not always {ever} easy, but those of us who can, have a better possibly of being a great role model for someone in the future.

Does that make sense? I hope so.

One thing many know and don’t know about me is the I’m a 3rd degree black belt and trained in one of the best martial arts academies ever created. From the age of 9 the life lessons and skills I learned through Hoover Karate Academy are some that have taken me father in my life than I could have ever bargained for. It was ingrained in me to have self discipline, self respect, self control, self confidence, self defense and self awareness. When you’re a child, you don’t know what some of these large words mean, so it was always easy to understand when my teachers broke down “the Selves” and explained them in a way we could all understand. To this day, the Selves are ever so evident in my adult life and I look at them every day on my refrigerator.

They serve as a reminder that we never stop growing, we’re always moving forward, you must always treat others how you want to be treated, you have to love yourself {so you can love others}, you must have power of your emotions {so they don’t have power over you}, and lastly, we must always give more than we have, to get back what we need in return.

SELF DISCIPLINE – Doing your obligations before doing what you want to do (desirables). Doing what you know in your heart to be right, regardless of popular decision or persuasion.

SELF RESPECT – Learning to like yourself for who you are so that, in turn, you can learn to like others for who they are. To treat yourself with respect is also to take care of yourself and your body. Also, always follow the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

SELF CONTROL – Self-control means being in command of your emotions and your actions at all times. It means not letting your anger or fear cause you to do or say something that is harmful or hurtful. It also means being aware of your body and what it is doing.

SELF CONFIDENCE – BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Know that you can be successful. To be self-confident means being proud of yourself without putting down others.

SELF DEFENSE – Protecting yourself and your loved ones only when pain or threat of pain exists. In the martial arts, you do not throw the first strike. However, you need to be prepared in case someone else does.

SELF AWARENESS – At all times, you should know what is around you. You also need to know what is inside of you. By being self-aware, you will be better prepared to deal with everything in life. You will also be able to do the things you need to do to improve. The martial arts can help us become more self-aware in many ways.

It all starts when we’re children and what is put into us by the people responsible for us, and the ones we look up to. So when you’re a role model to someone, put everything you can into them, knowing you can be helping to mold a future. And when you’re quick to judge someone who acts in a way you don’t agree with, remember, we’re all fighting and have fought, our own battles.

Whose life can you make a difference and sparkle in?

-Aurora Beani