Dogma. Synonyms of this would be undoubtable ‘truth’ or ‘belief.’ Dogmatism is “a set of beliefs or doctrines that are established as undoubtedly in truth.” Translation, Dogma is what society creates and tells us are ideals. What we should wear, how we’re supposed to act, who we should date, who we should marry, what kind of job we should want, what kind of car we need, what is okay, what’s considered sensitive, how much we should weigh, and lastly, my favorite, what’s expected of us as a whole. 

Whether your younger or older, I can imagine that at one point in our lives all of us have felt as though we were supposed to fit into a specific mold. There is a standard out there, created by whom I’m unsure, but there are guidelines presented before us that we’re expected to fill into, somewhere. I believe the point in this saying and why I want to talk about it, is that it is SO EASY to fall into these set out expectations and feeling like you need to go down a path others have set for you.

Our entire lives there will be people we feel as though we need to act a certain way around, because that’s how we allow them to make us feel— do not give power to these people. Even if it’s not verbalized, we give in to these individuals by over-thinking our relationships with them or worrying about them when we shouldn’t. Again, time wasted. We shouldn’t allow people who contribute so little to our growth as human beings a second more than they deserve. 

You do NOT need to fall in line with a path that has been beaten for you. There is no extra time given to those who try and please other first, and themselves second. Let me repeat that, there is NO extra time given to those who try and please others first, and themselves second. We all get the same 24 hours, and at one point we need to stop dreaming of what it is we want to do, and actually begin taking the steps to get there. It is okay to like making others happy, but at the end of the day, you have to be pleased with yourself. 

So follow your heart. Write down what it is that you want to do- your expectations of yourself. Write them down on paper, online, in a checklist, and mostly, write it in your heart. If you can block out the negative voices that tell you you’re going against the grain, you’ve already won half of the battle. I firmly believe that I lived the first half of my life letting Dogma choose the direction I would go. I followed the crowd and wanted to be liked, which meant doing what others thought I should be doing, even if it wasn’t something I cared for or enjoyed. As I keep growing into an adult, I’m finding that who I’ve decided I wanted to become is actually well received– and liked. All along I was trying to fit in, when the person I am meant to be, needs to stand out, and this person sparkles.

When you feel good about who you’re becoming and the people by your side, there is no care of Dogma or time being wasted. Life your own life, trust in your own instincts, believe in yourself and GO. YOU are first… negative, fears, others, dogma, circumstance, is all… second.

The true you will Sparkle, trust me.

-Aurora Beani