Why you can Begin, Again

February 13, 2018 AuroraLeave a comment

I’ve thought about these 2 words, almost obsessively, for the last month and a half. Begin Again. Aurora, you can BEGIN.AGAIN.

It’s funny, a new year starts and all of a sudden you’re given this feeling that everything can start fresh. 11:59 changing to 12:00 on January 1st sparks something that gives you the feeling that you can do anything this upcoming year. For all of the social media posts that I see stating things like “New Year, New Me,” Or “This Year is My Year,” I also see the ones telling us that we don’t need a new year to start something new. That we don’t need a new year to wipe the slate clean, start over, get a new job, leave that lousy relationship, lose the weight, begin the hobby etc. I always fell in the category of the first group of people, because the new year, to me, felt like an auto-delete of anything you’ve been unhappy with, and provides the (whether you like it or not) birth of something new. It’s a fresh start.

This new year was different for me though- I didn’t make many changes I was hoping to, to jump start 2018. I began the year sick, had a sudden loss of someone close to my family and found that after all of this died down, I wanted to rest. Rather than propel myself into my “New Year New Me” attitude, I wanted to take a breather.

And the above, really got me thinking.

What are the things I want to change this year? Why do I want to change them and what’s the motivation to do so? Why did I have to start January 1st, and why can’t I start anytime? While the excitement of a new year has always been something to motivate me, the reasons WHY I want to make these changes should be enough to motivate me to get going. To begin, again.

So starting with the publishing of this post, I’m giving myself permission to BEGIN again. It’s not 1/1/18, nor did the clock turning to midnight last night mean anything spectacular… it just meant it’s my day to be ready to press play. What am I pressing play on?

Lent begins tomorrow. That means, for Catholics, preparing for the death and resurrection of Jesus. AKA I’m gonna continue attending church weekly and being more mindful of prayer and the big G!
I need to get my work out on! I know when I’m stressed or feeling low, that a good work out can boost my energy and help me feel more productive throughout the day. This means, 3+ more gym visits a week and minding my diet. I also think this will include runs with my pup… because she loves that!
Reading my mountain of books at home before buying more. I’ve been averaging 1 every 2 weeks, so, so far so good.
Reestablishing connections with the family and friends in my life that I haven’t spoken with as much as I’d like to. Sometimes you have to be the one to initiate, and it’s better to help build than to wait. My brother is doing this one too, so having that reminder helps too!
Get more sleep. There is no explanation needed here.
Lastly, I’m going to put my positivity and inspirational attitude to the test. I’ve always been proud of the way I carry myself and engage others with my warmth and excitedness for life. Some things in my life have gotten me to feeling a little unlike myself, so I’m going to work harder to put my best attributes forward.

Is there anything you need to Begin Again?

I encourage you and pray that you do it… because you owe it to yourself to!

To beginning again, cheers.

-Aurora

Counseling · Entrepreneur · Faith · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Motivation · Networking · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Of All The Things That Happened, What Didn’t?

November 23, 2017December 11, 2017 AuroraLeave a comment

Sometimes you need to thank God for what didn’t happen. Thank Him for the things He’s stopped that you knew nothing about.

How deep is this? Trust me, I know. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, especially as we head into the time of year thinking about things we are thankful for, spending time with loved ones, exchanging gifts etc. We all have the scenarios in our lives that we wish played out differently. Maybe it’s a lost relationship, a negative situation or argument or even that one job you wanted to get that never worked out. God’s plan is so much bigger than ours that we can’t begin to fathom it’s greatness and complexity.

And let’s talk about gratitude- It’s so much easier to be thankful for something when you wanted it and now appreciate having it. How about the things we never had to endure or go through because God stopped them from happening? There are very few times in our life where we can see something almost happened and didn’t (and we become grateful), but what about the things we can’t see? I’ll tell you what- these thoughts alone are enough to make me grateful.

To know that God has had my back my whole life and continues to do so, regardless of my continued praise and appreciation that I may forget to show sometimes. How amazing it is to have the ultimate spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bodyguard, even if you forget to say thanks every once in awhile.

Thank you for all the things that didn’t happen.

-Aurora

Counseling · Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Motivation · Networking · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

How to Start… Now.

October 5, 2017October 5, 2017 AuroraLeave a comment

“Whether you think you’re ready or not, start right now. There is magic in action.”

Ahhhh, this. What I love about this thought is that it’s applicable to almost any goal, dream or action you want to take in your life. If you want to re-enroll in school, start working out, get back on the dating scene, try that new hobby… there is always tomorrow, but why not start RIGHT NOW… if because you can!

I’m going to get a little more personal here, because that’s what this blog has always been about- being open and honest about my own feelings and sharing what I think will be helpful for others who may be thinking or experiencing similar situations in their own life. In order to explain fully, we need to take a quick step back to tie this all together.

Over the last year and a half, I’ve been enjoying everything that being a newly wed has to offer, from moving in together (no, we did not live together beforehand… no crazy reason why, we just thought it would be fun to wait to move in- feel free to ask more about this if interested), spending a lot of quality time together, to adopting our beautiful rescue, Luna, and lastly, buying a new home! It’s been a fun (at times, crazy/difficult/stressful) year, but it has been nothing short of incredible when spending it with my person- my husband, Joe. And while we’ve learned a lot over the last year and have had some amazing times, in our discussions lately, we realized something was missing (~~no, not a baby (yet), slow down~~). In the midst of binge-watching our favorite shows, going out to eat all the time and enjoying life to the fullest, we began letting our fitness and health take a back seat.

Who is Maxx Fitness and why is he hitting my bank account each month?

Image result for gym meme

Friends in a relationship, let me tell you- when your partner (or even a good friend) JOIN YOU in your fitness journey, life is SO MUCH EASIER than if you did it alone. As an extroverted person, I am motivated by others and the environment around me, so going to the gym, and with a partner, are key to me sticking with any program or routine I want to start. Beginning this week, my husband and I have began eating a little bit better and headed back to the gym (What’s up, Maxx!) This is exciting to me, because I obviously want to feel healthy for myself, but I also want to feel good and take all the positivity that a healthy lifestyle can bring, into my marriage. If you’re not in a relationship or don’t have have a close friend to join you on your journey, YOU HAVE ONE in me! Send me a message and I’d be happy to chat and share motivation with you!

So this is my journey on “Starting Now” and putting action into something I want. What’s your journey leading you toward? Here are 5 Steps I’ve created on how to start anything you want in your life, NOW.

Listen, my own worst enemy and the voice that talks me out of things I want to do is my own mind and negative self talk. Have you tried before and failed? Do you lack self-confidence? Has someone told you you’re unable to reach your goal? SO WHAT. This is not the first time I’ve run down this list of ways… and I’m positive I will have to run through it numerous times until I feel that I’ve made it to where I want to go.

So take it from someone who is beginning now… you can too. Whatever your goal is, whatever you want in life, the only one truly holding you back, is you. What is it in your life that you can start now? I’d love to know!

To starting NOW….♥

With love and sparkle, Aurora

Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Viewing Battles as Blessings

May 3, 2017May 3, 2017 Aurora1 Comment

“If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting”

Have you ever gone through a rough patch? My guess is that your answer is probably “yes,” since if you’re reading this you’re most likely human and that comes with the territory. Life is not always easy– which I know I am not the first to tell you this, but sometimes the going truly gets tough… and your response to these moments are pretty important. Take it from me- about 3 months ago I was at a point that felt pretty low: I was miserable in my job, I was being forced to move out of my rental and my loving, amazing Grandmother passed away.

The “Everything Happens in Threes” saying completely applied to my life, and I thought that if a 4th thing occurred, I would break.

As a positive-minded person, of course I knew things would get better; As a person full of faith, I knew God had bigger, better plans for me and was with me; As a person with an amazing husband, family and friends, I knew there were people that would not let me fall and that would have my back along the way. This doesn’t make the rough time any more bearable, nor does it make the pain/sadness/worry/insecurity pass any faster- because you don’t know at the time how good life can be in the future. You’re stuck in the “now.” But hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20. Would it have made any of the feelings I had at the time better if I could see the future? Maybe not, but maybe if I knew life would be amazing now, back then, the anxiety over the unforeseen future would be gone. Which for me personally, was the biggest part.

THE GOOD THING IS THOUGH…

…when you finally reach the light at the end of the dark tunnel, only then can you understand why the battle was worth it.

Every decision, every road block, any negativity or sadness you faced- it lead you here. Now that I’ve reached the end of my tunnel, I can tell you that the blessings have been worth the battle, even though it was hard to see when the light at the end of the tunnel was only a speck. So if you’re going through the battle now, I can tell you IT GETS BETTER, and although it’s easier to read than believe, everything you are looking for is through the tunnel. To reach the blessings you need to go through the battle.

I recently began my dream job (Seriously… I’m so grateful!), am moving into my new home with my husband (that we LOVE!!) and I have extreme peace with my Grandmothers passing and know that she is with me always and that I’m a better person for knowing her.

If the battle is huge, the blessings are BIGGER!!!! If you’re in the dark, keep going!! If you’ve reached the end of your tunnel, good!

To the battles that help us appreciate the blessings,

Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

2017- The Year of What Is

January 22, 2017January 23, 2017 AuroraLeave a comment

I am officially calling 2017 The Year of What Is. So, what does this mean exactly? Think of the saying: “It Is What It Is.” For years, I didn’t like this saying because I thought it was a way of sweeping things under the rug. I thought it was a shrug of the shoulders and the allowing of something to pass by that maybe should be addressed, understood or discussed. I found that friends, family, people I look up to- would all use the phrase when they felt like something was out of their control or couldn’t be fixed, changed etc. When I think deeper about this now, I think the reason I didn’t like the saying stems from my own inability to believe that some things are just what they are. You cannot change them. Whether it was something that happened to you, a relationship with someone in your life or an outcome to something you wish had been different. It’s not what you want it to be- It is what it is.

In a recent conversation with a friend, we got to talking about certain situations in our own lives currently that rather than trying to understand and fight, that we needed to accept and understand that these things can’t be what we want them to be. They are going to be what they are.

*THIS WAS SUCH A HUGE MOMENT FOR ME*

Are you following me here?

I don’t know why or how, but in that moment the saying meant more to me than it ever had. “It Is What It Is,” is not a shrugging of the shoulders, rather, it’s the acceptance that something cannot become what you want it to be just because you want it to be that way or because you want to understand it. In a relationship that means a lot to you, in circumstances at work/home, something you really want for yourself, the lose of a loved one, the pain of a past experience- it is WHAT IS. However- the thing we are able to control in this experience, is our reaction to it. How we proceed with our feelings and the way we view it (the friendship, job, argument, relationship, shortcoming, failure, pain), is up to us. You can’t always change “it,” but you can change the way you feel about it.

I’ve always been one of those people who tried to help change others, if I felt like they needed “fixing.” Whether it was an old boyfriend, troubled friend, a coworker- the therapist in me was always at work trying my best to be there for that person and often offered 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances in the pursuit of trying to understand them and help them become a better person. Some might say I was doing that to feed some of my own ego, and that while I was trying to help them, there was some gain I was trying to obtain for myself. I won’t argue that- I know it has felt good to know you would have contributed to someones happiness or self-discovery, so I won’t say this is too far off track. But I can say, that “fixing” others, or helping them change for what you think is best, is exhausting. This is why accepting WHAT IS is so important. Even with the best intentions, putting so much energy into trying to help, understand, or change someone else or situations only depletes the energy you’re giving back to yourself… and I am finally beginning to understand that.

So I am saying 2017 is the Year of What Is, but I plan on moving forward with the idea that I can’t always control or understand things, but than I can control how I view them and how I allow them to effect me. As someone who has a strong faith and often turns to prayer for solace, comfort and direction, I think this is a strong tool to help these feelings and understanding that you won’t always be able to control the outcome.

I hope this makes sense– maybe it even enlightened some of your thoughts too! If so, please let me know in the comments and I will reply shortly after.

Happy 2017 to all of you!.. best wishes for a healthy new year and accepting what is.

Aurora

Photo cred: I took this photo of the beautiful “Liberty Bell Church” on Hamilton St, Allentown Pennsylvania from my office.

Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

When Someone You Love Hurts You

January 21, 2014January 24, 2014 Aurora104 Comments

“When someone you love hurts you, you have a decision to make: you allow it to destroy you, you let it make you stronger or you take the opportunity… and walk away.”

Pain hurts. Betrayal hurts. Anger hurts. Frustration hurts. But nothing can compare to when this hurt comes from someone we love. I take the word love seriously. Love between two people in a relationship, love between family members, love friends have for one another… any kind of love. For me, all love comes back to the golden rule: You treat {love} people the way you want to be treated {loved}.

I think what makes the hurt, hurt even more is the expectation we place on the ones we love. “I know I love you and so I’m going treat you this way, speak this way to you, and respect you like this…” and we expect the same thing in return. This is where the shock value comes in. We’re not expecting the ones we love, treat well and respect to treat us any other way than how we treat them. So when the time comes and you see the feelings/actions/words aren’t reciprocated, we hurt.

There is a clear difference in hurt we receive from different people. If a co-worker does something hurtful to me, I’m going to take the appropriate, professional, steps to rectify the situation and move on. If someone I hardly know or an acquaintance wants to hurt me, there is little to no after-the-fact pain, or hurt, they’re simply just gone from my life. These two examples are black and white. When these people do us harm we can choose to simply cut them off or seek resolution with little backlash or thought. When someone you love hurts you, that’s a different story.

Does this destroy you, make you stronger or do you walk away? When you have love for someone, the answer to this question is never easy.

Walls crumble when the person you love hurts you. Trust is broken, confidence in what you had weakens and all that’s left are questions. Why? Will things get better? Will it happen again? Should I move on? The only way these questions are answered are in time.

So do yourself a favor, give yourself this time. Whether you have to step back, keep your mind busy or pick up a new hobby… Give yourself the time you need. No significant decision in your life should be made in a second, some decisions take time and you owe it to yourself to take the time you need.

The greatest love you can have, is the love you have for yourself. That being said, don’t forget to put yourself first sometimes. You deserve it.

Update
I received some feedback from a reader and want to address some specifics they said that wanted to hear more about. They wanted to know what exactly to do when a loved one hurt them, and then how I could relate or an example. Here’s what I have to say:

So what do you do when you someone you love hurts you? What are the immediate steps? What do you say? How do you address the situation? Do you address it?

Every situation is different. The degree to which you hurt can be different as well, depending on who it is that hurt you. The first thing that I try and do is STEP back. Many times, when we hurt, it comes out as anger; the worst thing you can do is act on these feelings. When we’re mad, we say and do things that usually aren’t at the core of how we feel. Our first natural instinct, even though it’s hard, should be to try and keep a cool head. The sooner you can do this, the sooner you can think clearly. Do not speak the first things you’re thinking! These are often words we wish we never said.

The next step, which is comparably as hard, is to take the time you need. “Time heals all,” as cliche as it sounds, I have found to be true. After taking the time you need, if the hurt is something repairable {which you need to decide}, then and only then, should you take the time to speak to the person who hurt you. Convey how and why their actions hurt you, and see if that person is open enough to truly hear your words. Their response to your openness is key to whether or not they are along for the journey to move beyond the hurt. Do not do all the work yourself. If someone cares about you, nothing should stop them from helping you cope with the hurt you’re feeling, that they caused.

It’s going to vary. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife hurt you, can you get beyond it? Will your relationship last? It depends on the pain they put you through, and if you can trust it won’t happen again. If a family member hurt you, is it something repairable because they’re family? Or are some things just un-forgivable? No one knows these answers but you.

As for myself, I currently sit in the boat I’m discussing. What works for me, is writing it out, taking time for myself and figuring out if trust is something that can be built. I practice what a preach, and am taking the time I need to find some sort of resolution. I hope that if you’re going through something similar, you take all the time you need and put yourself first.

To the love in your life ♡

-Aurora Beani

Community Giving · Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

The Impact of Connections and Life Choices.

August 6, 2013August 6, 2013 Aurora1 Comment

Connections.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted to post the last few weeks and I think I am finally able to put into words my thoughts. Have you ever taken a second to think about the people in your life and how they got there? Even your family… While they’ve always been there and will always be there, sometimes your closer with some members than others… But why? Where are these relationships cultivated and what does it all mean? This has been something on my mind a lot lately, as I’ve been so thankful for some of the people in my life, and it made me wonder how I got so lucky, and where my relationships with these people began.

I received a Facebook message from a dear friend of mine that I haven’t spoken to in a little while, reaching out about The Weekly Sparkle, his appreciation for my positive outlook, and offering his own insight on relation to the site and things with his life. It completely made my week. It got me thinking about how I know him and how lucky I am to have someone I hardly have to speak with, but can still feel an impact by their words and our relationship. We met one summer in LA when my best friend and I decided we wanted to experience California. Once I was hired for the job at UCLA {that I found out about one night during drinks with a friend-connection}, I had no idea about the great people I would meet, and how they would become lifelong friends, no matter where in the country they lived.

This is just one occurrence, among many lately that have me taking a step back and realizing how each decision, conversations, moments etc all impact our lives and where we are right now. Even my current relationship, I wouldn’t be in it if I hadn’t decided to take my Target job almost 8 years ago, not knowing 6 years later I’d begin dating one of the best guys I’ve ever known. And in the subject of that, all of the friendships, connections and opportunities I had stemming from my decision to work at Target {and stay there} is mind blowing. I had two offers on the table and went with the one I felt best about… What if I chose the other?

Think about an important decision you made in your life. {Really… Think of one for a second}. Was it a move? The acceptance of a job? Was it a break-up? A proposal? A split decision that would have an immediate consequence? Now… Think about the person(s) who helped you make that decision. Where did you meet them and how they did they get in your life? What if you hadn’t met them and didn’t receive the same advice/counsel and it changed your decision? What pieces of your life would be missing or different because you didn’t make the decision? It’s so amazing how all these tiny details mold our bigger picture.

This is a strong support as to why I don’t believe in having regrets. Each and every decision we make, relationships we build, and doors we open, lead to paths in our lives that we have to walk… Whether we continue the path, change directions, or begin a new path that we were lead to through another connection at one point… It all has to begin somewhere.

And so, I stand proud and humbled to see where many of my decisions and relationships have lead me in my life, and I appreciate the incredible support and unconditional love I receive everyday from people I’m close with and connected to. I can only hope that I am as big of a support to them as they are to me. It’s amazing to even see the connections your able to make with people that you hardly ever see, maybe only speak with through social networks, yet know the bond you have with them has impacted yours and their life.

Someone I have admired for years and follow regularly is author and public speaker, Brene Brown, who wrote the quote that I used above. I believe in it full heartedly. It is the connection we build with others and the impact we make in one another’s lives that make life worth living. I believe it’s the choices and directions we take that makes life more exciting and fun to look back on, rather than the things we don’t do and later question what may be different had we done the unknown.

So I say, we appreciate and enjoy the connections we made, the great relationships in our lives, and take a look back every once in a while to remind yourself how it all came to be, and that you’re currently exactly where you should be, because it’s already molding your tomorrow.

Sparkle On ♡

-Aurora

Community Giving · Motivation · Uncategorized

Attitude of Gratitude

March 7, 2013March 13, 2013 Aurora5 Comments

I feel like a major theme of a lot of things I discuss is strongly focused around the subject of gratitude. Meaning, overall attitude; is it thankful, appreciative, is there acknowledgment of the good things going on in our lives, or the things given to us? Do we take a second and be thankful for all the things going right, or can we only focus on what we don’t have or wish we had (more of)?

It is always easy to see ~~and complain about~~ what it is that we don’t have. Right?

I read the quote a long time ago, and each time it pops up in my life, I feel like its for a reason…

How spot on is this in many of our lives? It’s so easy to complain about how we don’t have enough of what we want, or aren’t happy with aspects of our lives. The challenging piece is recognizing it in the moment and changing our thoughts. We can control what we have and don’t have, but it’s socially acceptable and normal to voice what you’re unhappy with, rather than praise all the good things going on.

I feel like this is particularly hitting home for me now, because I have so much to be grateful for yet I find myself focusing on the things I want to change in my life, and areas where I feel like I’m not good enough. The truth is, I am good enough. And I know this, but it’s the negativity and stress of everyday life that makes us all question ourselves, what we know we’re good at, our intentions, our capabilities, and so on and so on and so on.

So I’ll end by saying that I’m grateful for my relationships. All of them. I’m gracious that I am related to some of the most supportive, amazing people I’ve ever met. In addition to my family, I’ve formed friendships and bonds with other people in my life that lift me up and motivate me to become a better person. They say, you are who you surround yourself with, and if that’s not enough to make me grateful, then I don’t know what is.

Sparkle on, you!

Xo Aurora