The Reel is not Real

August 16, 2017August 16, 2017 Aurora3 Comments

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel

I’m going to start this post with a hashtag that I’ve created: #TheReelisNotReal

How many of us become insecure because of something we see on the internet? Ladies, have you ever looked at another woman’s post and thought: “I wish I looked like that.” Have you ever seen someone’s relationship posts and thought: “I wish I was that happy in my relationship.” To the gents out there, ever see abs you wish you had or the perfect woman with the perfect guy and wish that was you? Ever see someone with the perfect job you wish you had? Welcome to Instagram and most of social media my friends.

BUT LISTEN UP::::::::

The Highlight Reel of peoples lives that you see online is not their life, I would gamble, 90% of the time! The loving relationship, perfectly fit body, amazing career, perfect hair… these are all things we want, but comparing your whole life situation to one persons post, is causing more issues and insecurity because you believe that what you’re seeing is someone’s 100% life. It ISN’T!

I do believe that majority of people who post their Highlight Reel aren’t trying to make anyone feel bad, insecure or less than them- they’re posting the things that make them feel good, proud, pretty, lucky etc. We all do that! BUT this is about our responses to the Reel. You can’t be critical of yourself over perfection you see on the internet. The perfection that most likely took:

25 takes
The perfect lighting
Face Tune
Do-overs
Photoshop
etc etc etc etc etc

It is proven that depression rates have gone up in our country among children and adults because of what they compare themselves to online posts. It’s. So. Sad. But it’s also a reality. So how do you stop this? How do you feel more secure with yourself and not compare yourself to ideals you see online? I haven’t mastered this yet, but I tell myself that anyone or anything I admire on the internet, 9 times out of 10, has their own issues, too. The seemingly perfect couples gets into drag out fights, the girl with a perfect body took a half hour picking a filter and whitening her teeth with FaceTune (although I do love that app), the person who lost 100lbs (GO THEM), feels like they haven’t lost enough… it’s in all of us! And what better way to help dig yourself out of your thoughts than to realize you’re not alone? ♡

The internet is a tricky place. Especially social media. How do you fall in line with posting positive things & not airing your dirty laundry? The truth to that, I think, is being an authentic post-er. I thought about this after following an amazing initiative #Realstagram through Raw Beauty Talks and how they’re empowering instagrammers and social media gurus to be themselves online, while still posting or promoting what they are all about or trying to sell. How…? By posting a makeup-free selfie or writing the truth behind the perfect picture you just posted (*not seen: my dog bitting a hole through my favorite shoe as I capture my perfectly puckered kissy face*). I love this.

In closing, friends- try and be nice to yourself. And while you’re at it- remember that the entire internet who posts away each day feels the exact same way you do– just a tad bit insecure. But just as they share that with you, remember their posts are mainly their Highlight Reel and not their Behind The Scenes. We all have that, too. ♡

To appreciating the genuine you ★ ☆ ✰

-Aurora

Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Be Soft.

February 29, 2016February 29, 2016 AuroraLeave a comment

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

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I love this saying! In a world where everyone takes everything so personal and has their negative input against this or that, how amazing of a reminder it is to see that it’s okay for us to still feel positive about where we are. I constantly find myself in this internal conflict of whether or not to be consumed by those who are negative, as opposed to staying where I want to be- the positive side. Help me out here, but how many of you can think of one or two people in your life who are always negative? Whether they complain about every day things, gossip about others or tear others down or give their viewpoint about something, but it always seems to have a rain cloud over it. Isn’t it draining?? I interact with people like this at random, and those moments with them (and usually moments following) I feel so overwhelmed and drained. How can someone feel like that all the time? I imagine it’s difficult, and viewing the world where it’s always raining has to steam from more pain than I’m aware of. I just hate the effect I down times allow it to have on me.

A friend of mine from high school wrote on his senior picture to me “Aurora, don’t let the world change who you are.” And this has always stuck with me as I navigate negative situations as they arise. It’s so important to remain who you are, even when faced with something you feel it’s easy to fall into.

The world is a beautiful place… and my little itty bitty blog will always serve as the constant reminder of that. We all are entitled to our bad days (trust me… I’ve had a dozen or two), but I think it’s always important to remember life is good. Being alive is good… and the only person who impacts that viewpoint is you.

Aurora

Community Giving · Goals · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

How to Relax and Have “Me” Time

May 12, 2015June 1, 2015 AuroraLeave a comment

Hello 👋! Over this last weekend I finally got to enjoy some “me” time. On most days off from work, I think I usually consider it “me” time when I’m catching up on Tv by myself or quickly running errands throughout the day. Attention all people everywhere- THIS. IS NOT. “ME” TIME. To me, “me” time is stopping. It’s slowing down, catching your bearings and taking in what’s going on around you. I wish I could tell you the time before last weekend that I had done this, but unfortunately it’s so long that I can’t recall.

As I may have written in some of my previous posts, I live in the beautiful Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania where there is always a lot to do and take in. We’re full of great, new restaurants, tourists attractions, nationally know universities and who can’t forget Musikfest. I live in a town where it’s easy to get involved and even caught up in the daily hustle and bustle of a busy city. And while I absolutely love the hectic-ness of where I live, it’s a great thing to be able to take a second and enjoy all the beauty that’s around me.

This Mother’s Day weekend, we closed down our Main Street and had a ton of vendors come in to sell artwork, soaps, sculptures, blown glass, you name it- it was incredible. After a busy morning, I chose to walk around Main St. by myself, grabbed a coffee {from the amazing Johny’s Bagels} and ended up having a great conversation with a women whom I had just met. It was wonderful. Not only was the half hour conversation nice, it was unexpected and light. “When I was your age I used to love coming here with my husband…” and “Yes… You need to watch for that construction on 33...” we exchanged back and forth.

It was a beautiful day, but what made it better was that it was my definition of “me” time and my ideal moment of taking time for myself. What does your “me” time look like?.. And when is the next time you’re going to take it? YOU. DESERVE. IT!

Here’s so pictures from my “me” time. Enjoy!! 💋

-Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Being Able To Move Forward From Personal Fears And Suffering

May 6, 2014May 7, 2014 AuroraLeave a comment

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”

I’m so hard on myself. Do you ever feel the same? Ever have something happen to you, whether it’s a moment of something hurtful or it was over a period of time, and you just can’t let it go? You allow this occurrence to take up so much room in your heart and mind, and feel like you’re about to drive yourself crazy? In reality, I’d say it’s comparable to self torture.

You take the occurrence that happens, and allow it to snowball in your mind {to places it shouldn’t be} and let it effect your daily thoughts and mood. It’s so sad, and unnecessary for us to do this to ourselves.

While I know it is easier said than done {I’m living proof of this all time!}, it’s so important to take these burdens off your shoulders and try to move into a more positive, suffer-free future.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, as I’ve had things over the last few months I let continuously bother me. Where I found that many of us do it too, is in recent situations where friends and family have shared their suffering as well.

We hold onto relations we shouldn’t, hurt ourselves with past disappointments and rather than move on from it, we sometimes stick with that suffering because it’s familiar and what we’re used to. It’s easier to stand still sometimes rather than deal with the fear of moving forward. I get it… Because I’ve done {and do} it.

So what do you do to move forward? You tell yourself what you would tell a friend… And do it. Ever feel like you can give great advice, but when it comes to taking it, you can’t? While it’s always easier said than done, you owe yourself the opportunity to move past the negative in your life and to open a new perspective.

So as I write this, I am committing to closing a door that has bothered me for awhile, and am choosing to put down a cross I have carried, knowing it will improve my overall well being and mental solitude.

Take your advice you’d give to a good friend and run with it. You deserve to put the past BEHIND you and move forward. And I’m not saying it’ll be easy, I’m saying you can’t head down the road, until you take the first step.

♡-Aurora Beani

Community Giving · Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

As I Began To Love Myself

August 28, 2013 Aurora1 Comment

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF–CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE! – Charlie Chaplin

If any truer words have been more perfect from my own heart, I have yet to find them. Read these words. Read into them. How can you find true happiness in your own life, if you aren’t honest with yourself and have what it takes to look deep inside? I believe that people are afraid of feelings. Feelings are thought to show weakness, be embarrassing and allow others to see our vulnerabilities. These are e x c u s e s and the LIES we tell ourselves to avoid letting others in.

The difference with this is, now, you need to let yourself in. I need to let myself in.

And I’m open to saying this because I know it can be helpful to others. I too worry often about what others think, say, don’t think or say, and I, like you, let it ruin moments where I should be happy and doing things that bring me joy. This is what Charlie meant, I love myself, and so I will no longer allow myself to WASTE my own time. This is what fear and worry do to us. They take away the only time we are truly guaranteed right now– the present.

I love this quote because I feel like every single one of you can pick out at least ONE thing that mirrors your own life, and how it can be applied to make it better. There’s no better way to be your best self, than to take a look inside every once in awhile, reflect and then make some changes.

As I began to love myself, I found that I’ve been searching for a fulfillment I thought was so far away. When you eliminate all the noise you create for yourself, all of a sudden you find things to be very clear, and discoverable. Be authentic, be respectful, have maturity, show confidence, be simple, display modesty, be wise in your decisions…

and sparkle. ✨

♡ Aurora Beani