Sorry Doesn’t Make It Okay

Grab a plate and throw it on the ground.
-Ok, Done.
Did it break?
-Yes.
Now say sorry to it.
-Sorry.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
-No
Do you understand?

Wow. My cousin sent this to me as its been a topic that she and I have discussed a lot over the last few years. I think it’s a harsh reality that many of us have to face every now and then when the friendship we broke, or a friend broke with us, just cannot simply be repaired.

You try and go back to where it was before, and that place just doesn’t exist anymore. What makes it a harsh reality is that whether or not both parties want to go back to that place, the friendship is forever changed. One or both of you saw a side of that other person that you didn’t know existed… Or better yet, never existed towards you.

I speak from experience in knowing what it is to be on both ends: the breaker and the breakee. I’ve always prided myself on being a good friend and doing what I think is right toward all people. Unfortunately there have been a few times that I can look back on and wish I had made better decisions based on the needs/expectations of my friends and what the situations called for. While hindsight is always 20/20 and everything is clear now, at this point you need to accept that things won’t be as they once were, and adapt to the way they are now and will be.

The other end of this that I have been on is where you have been hurt by a friend, and whether you want it to go back to how it was or not, it’s simply not an option you can let yourself get to. I have wanted to go back to normal with a friend a few times now, but there are limits to what we can consciously allow ourselves to do. Call it what you want, but when someone burns you, or doesn’t think enough about you before hurting you, sometimes our hearts just won’t allow us to go back— which is okay. It’s the harsh reality.

My advice for this however, is that we try our hardest to never let our friendships get to this point. Sounds easier said than done you say? Well, it’s not. It all comes back to the golden rule and a little extra thinking. You treat people the exact way you want them to treat you, and beyond that, think about how the other person feels and how they will react if you hurt them. We can’t be perfect, but it is possible to be pure and genuine in thought.

To the friendships that sparkle in your life…

♡ Aurora Beani