Let’s Talk Self Talk

May 9, 2019May 9, 2019 Aurora1 Comment

Pep Talks // illustration by Mari Andrew via Cup of Jo

Let’s Talk SELF TALK. Anyone else read the above and think… WOW… that IS how I talk to those people in my life! And now stop for a second, and ask yourself, “Do I always talk to myself this way?…” with understanding, excitement, happiness, patience etc etc etc. The answer is a hard NO in my book. We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to internal thoughts and self talk.

I’ll never be good enough
I don’t look the way I should
I hate my body
I didn’t do as well as others expect me to
There is no coming back from that mistake
I’m not strong enough
I’m not enough
I can’t control my stress
I’m not lovable
I’ll be alone forever
I’ll never be as good as them
I’m not perfect
I need to be perfect

How many more things could you add to the list if I left it open ended? I guarantee by the time I proofread this 2-3x I will have added a few more to the list. It’s SO EASY for us to have these self-defeating thoughts, because the world (now more than ever) always has reminders of how we can be better. How to be a better mom or dad, a better employee, how to get bigger boobs or that you need a flat stomach- everywhere you turn (ESPECIALLY social media), we are surrounded by others Highlight Reels of what “perfect” or “ideal” looks like. I talk about this in a past blog called: The Reel is not Real.

So in a world that is always showing us how we can be better, how do we keep our minds in check to what living a good life looks like to us personally?

We have to flip the script.

Yes, the script in your mind, the years of experiences that have molded you and your thoughts- it’s time to flip the script and remind yourself that you are a human and capable of amazing things, even if you’re not perfect, have made mistakes, don’t look this way or act this way, have this job, achieved this or that… IT DOES NOT MATTER. These things do not define your life and dwelling on them only robs you of living your BEST, happiest and fulfilled life.

You all know me, when I write, the topic usually has to do with something that is close to my heart and something either I or someone I know has or is going through. I think this is one topic I can say, ALL of us struggle with. We all have our own thoughts and preconceived notions of ourselves and what others expect of us. Lately, I’ve been in my own head with negative self talk; comparing myself to others success, doubting my growth and path in my exercise journey… honestly have thought, “why am I even doing this?”

YOU GUYS—- WHY do we do this? Not the “this” I’m talking about above, but THIS… as in what this entire blog is about. This self-defeating discussion with ourselves.

WHY do we do this?

Well friends, I’m committing to breaking the habit and here’s why: I am tired of suffocating moments of joy and successes by shining a light on my worries and insecurities. The truth is 99% of the things we over analyze, beat ourselves up over or stay up at night worrying about, don’t happen. This is a fact. So why not work on putting things in place to shake these thoughts as they start approaching and work toward more positive self talk all together?

Here are some tips on how to get started:

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I’m starting with the above, and one tip I’d like to add is: If you’re having a moment of overwhelming negative self talk and you need to kick it, phone a friend! There are a handful of people I know I can turn to when my self talk is all out of wack! These are the people who speak to you the way you would normally speak to others: patiently, kindly, lovingly, etc and they’re also your reminder of how much you are a rock star at life! Tap into these people- because the people we trust the most outside of ourselves is our tribe.

All in all, I want to work on challenging my negative self talk, figuring out where it’s coming from, and shifting my perspective to more positive thoughts and feelings. But just like with anything, in order to get better at it, you need to practice it daily, so I plan on doing just that!

Here is what I need to know you!

What struggles do you have with Self Talk?
Do you have an effective way of talking yourself out of Negative Self Talk?
Do you like helpful checklists like the above to reference in the future?

Thanks for the read, friends! Let’s try talking to ourselves the way we talk to others: with love, support, patience and excitement! We really do deserve it.

Cheers,

-Aurora✨✨

Counseling · Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Family · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Home · Journaling · Living with Intention · Motivation · Networking · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Becoming Yourself Again

April 4, 2019 AuroraLeave a comment

“Keep Taking Time For Yourself Until You’re You Again”

YOWZZAAAA

Did this hit me like a ton of bricks or what? WARNING: Lots of honesty in this post. Over the last few months, I haven’t been feeling much like myself. And when I say like myself, I mean, the person whom I thought I was; the person people tell me I am: happy, cheerful, positive, go-getting, someone who starts each day with a bright perspective etc. I know I’ve talked about it here before, but I couldn’t 100% put my finger on what it was that felt different. All I knew for certain was that I wanted a change, because something just didn’t feel right. So these last few weeks, I began asking myself:

“When was the last time you felt most like you and what were the things in your life that were making you happy?”

I pulled out my handy note-book where I do my “brain dumps,” and began jotting things down. When I felt the most like me, I was:

Getting in some kind of physical activity multiple times a week (going for walks, going to the gym, karate etc).
Spending time each day talking to God and feeling a stronger connection with him.
Getting sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. My GOSH this is a big one!! My normal bedtime these days is anytime after 11:00pm. Even on ~~school~~ work nights! This is partially because I like spending time with my husband and catching up on our day, but it’s also partially because I have a hard time falling sleep.
Blogging regularly/connecting with readers.
Volunteering and giving back to my local community as often as I could
Eating/Drinking well. Less fast food, more fruits and veggies, less adult beverages, more Crystal Lite (hah, you expected me to say water?? NOPE)!
When I felt most like me I was Confident.
And lastly, spending time with people who inspire, motivate, challenge and excite me when I’m around them!

PHEW, what a list huh? Did any of those resonate with you too? I don’t feel like I have lost any of these completely, but they were all part of my normal routine and contributed to my overall happiness… my overall ME. So in the last few weeks, and especially this week, I’m starting to feel like I’m getting some of the old me back. It’s all of the above and making the time for them- not making excuses as to why they’re not a part of my life at the moment.

Fall in love with the process of becoming the very best version of yourself - Words of Wisdom

So I have to ask, when was the last time you felt like YOU? If the answer isn’t right now, I challenge you to have the courage to stop what you’re doing, and dig a little bit as to where you have been, and how to get yourself back.

My process began right before my last post, When You’re Tired, Rest. and is continuing each and every day. If there are things you need to pump the brakes on in your life to find you and your happiness again, do it. Break the plans, say “No” to things that get in the way of your path, have courage when thrusting yourself back into something that might no longer feel comfortable and r e l a x. It won’t all happen overnight, so remember to have patience with yourself. And if you need someone to help you figure out how, I’m only a few key strokes away.

To finding ourselves again,

-Aurora

This is the beginning of loving yourself. Welcome home. #selfdevelopment #sarahfreedom #sarah #freedom - Sarah Freedom Self Development - #beginning #Development #freedom #home #Loving #Sarah #sarahfreedom #selfdevelopment

Cleaning · Faith · Family · Home · Living with Intention · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

When You’re Tired, Rest.

March 20, 2019 Aurora2 Comments

“Let yourself rest.”

If you’re like me, you’re not very good at being sick. While I’d love to tell you that I’m someone who has a perfectly balanced life, filled with feelings of full accomplishment and getting plenty of sleep, the reality is, most times I find myself to be the person burning the candle at both ends. Every once in a while, this all catches up to me, and my body won’t allow me to keep going in the manor in which I’ve been pushing. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

So here I was, plugging, plugging and plugging away at work life, home life and all-the-life-in-between, and I just needed to stop and rest. Ever get so sick that your body will literally not allow for you to keep going? That was this girl right here. Even as my sickness rapidly knocked me down, I tried fighting it and refused to believe I was getting sick.

Why do we do that?

Seriously… why the heck do we do that?

I’ll tell you why I do—— society (friends, our job, strangers around us, social norms), all show us that we should be go-go-go, and if we stop and take a break, we’re lazy, or we’ll be passed by the person who refuses to stop.

I have literally thought when sick or needing a rest, “Ugh but I could be doing __________ or ________. I wanted to get ________ done. I need to get _________ to _________before _______. All things that could wait until you’re feeling better… but we tell ourselves we should be getting done now! And when I’m in go-go-go mode, I know I’m not living my healthiest life. I’m not drinking enough water, exercising, putting healthy foods in my body— that’s all out the window, because I have something better and more important I need to take care of. (I just rolled my eyes at myself as I typed that).

What is more important that your physical and mental health?

Nothinngggggggggggggggggggggg.

I got to the point 2 weeks ago when I was sick (I think I had a strand of the flu… fever, chills, cough, wheezing, etc.), where I legit made a deal with God. Yes, I was so ill I was talking aloud to the Big G, and I said, “God, if you could help take this illness away from me, I promise to never take advantage of my health again.” I know, super dramatic, but truthfully, it’s how I felt. When you’re taking a bunch of meds, using an inhaler to breathe and keeping your husband and dog up all night, you start to think, ooookkkkkkk how can I help this to never happen again??? Of course, you can’t help the germs floating around us, but there is plenty of things I could change in my life to help lesson my chances of getting sick like this. (Ever hear of vitamins Aurora??)

The biggest lesson of all here though, is that: It Is OKAY To Rest. It’s 100% OKAY. It’s okay to unplug, take time from work, lay on the couch (and binge watch Queer Eye on Netflix) and relaxxxxxxxxxx. If your body or your mind need it, you need to listen.

Have you had an experience similar to mine? What did you say to yourself when you finally stopped and allowed yourself to rest? Did you talk to the Big G like me?

Thanks for reading friends, and wherever you are, go grab a vitamin C or two.

To putting our health first,

-Aurora

Faith · Family · Friendship · Home · Housekeeping · Living with Intention · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Our Heat Pump Broke… And I’m Happy It Did!

February 21, 2019February 22, 2019 AuroraLeave a comment

Life Quote: Remember, most of the stress in your life comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude, and all that stress will disappear.

I sound crazy right? Our heat pump in our home, BROKE, and I am happy that it did. And if you asked me how I felt about our heat going out (in the middle of winter, mind you) 2 weeks ago, I was not feeling the way I do now.

As a matter of fact, I was worried, stressing out over cost and feeling a strain in our home that normally isn’t there. Yes, I know…

“Welcome to being a homeowner…”

Honestly, if one more person said that to me that first week of dealing with this, I may have burst. The stress and anxiety that came with this situation wasn’t because we didn’t understand things like this happen as homeowners, it was deeper than that. It was the tension felt over our current financial situation, the worried/panic filled initial response and honestly, bad communication.

So why in the HELL am I happy this happened?

41 Motivational And Inspirational Quotes You're Going To Love

I am a huge believer in seeing the silver lining to all situations. No… not in the second they happen… we’re all entitled to having a moment of freaking out, but after the fact, I like to take a look back and reflect on situations like this. What if anything could I have done differently, what did I learn, what am I proud of, etc.

There are 3 main reasons I am grateful our heat pump broke and the lessons I learned because of it:

Faith, Family and Friends.
- Time and time again, our family and friends show up when we need them most. I will never take for granted the amazing people in our lives who offered electric heaters, words of encouragement, connections to HVAC businesses and amazing advice about a topic we knew little about. Tough times show you who shows up FOR you. It’s a refreshing reminder of how much people care about you. Due to all of this assistance, #2 happened!
Remembering it’s okay to ask questions.
- I put out on FB that we needed some help, and my friend’s mom reached out to me immediately. Turns out her husband has owned Indoor Comfort Specialists Inc. here in the Lehigh Valley for over 30 years. He came over the next morning and looked at our unit, offered advice on whether or not to fix or replace all together, then asked a few questions about our warranty and why the parts weren’t covered. This conversation lead me to call the manufacturer back, not accept the first answer I received, asked more questions, and ultimately, the company found an error in our warranty and was able to get the parts fixed. FOR FREEEEEE. GUYS!… this is probably the biggest lesson of all- if something doesn’t feel right, or if you have questions, ASK THEM. The road to getting our parts for free had a lot of twists and turns, but if I never asked the questions, and accepted the original “your warranty is expired,” we wouldn’t have saved the thousands of dollars that we have!
  - Lehigh Valley peeps– if we had to replace everything, we would have gone to Indoor Comfort Specialists because they’re AMAZING! Great customer service, locally built successful business and the nicest, most genuine owner/employees on the planet. Definitely give them your business.
Better Communication in our relationship.
- Yikes did this one put my husband and I to the tesssssssssssssst! As a couple that rarely gets into arguments, this situation definitely had us both stressed out and communicating ~~like shit~~ poorly to one another. I learned through this experience the importance of understanding that we all react differently to stress and communicate in our own way when under stress. I needed to jump right in and go into problem solving mode, wanted to talk it through, etc. while my husband needed time to process, think of different solutions and kept more to himself. Our different responses to what was going on made us feel tension, some frustration and ultimately, alone. Looking at it from this end, I realize that not having many arguments (while wonderful), lead to us not knowing how different our responses would be, and what that meant. In the days following all of this, my husband and I had a nice long talk about what went down and how we communicated to each other and why. This not only makes me love my husband even more (I love life convos with him, and that he likes them, too), but I know it’s a healthy conversation that will help in the future when the next stressor arises.

Thankful for being blessed with good friends

So, I am happy our heat pump broke. I’m happy because it reminded me of so many positive relationships in my life, gave me a lot of life lessons I know will help in the future and ultimately, strengthened my relationship.

To the universe– I think I have gained what I need from this lesson, if you could chill with the home ownership issues for a bit, I’d appreciate it 😊

To always learning and growing… ♥

-Aurora