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Let’s Talk Self Talk

Pep Talks // illustration by Mari Andrew via Cup of Jo

Let’s Talk SELF TALK. Anyone else read the above and think… WOW… that IS how I talk to those people in my life! And now stop for a second, and ask yourself, “Do I always talk to myself this way?…” with understanding, excitement, happiness, patience etc etc etc. The answer is a hard NO in my book. We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to internal thoughts and self talk.

  • I’ll never be good enough
  • I don’t look the way I should
  • I hate my body
  • I didn’t do as well as others expect me to
  • There is no coming back from that mistake
  • I’m not strong enough
  • I’m not enough
  • I can’t control my stress
  • I’m not lovable
  • I’ll be alone forever
  • I’ll never be as good as them
  • I’m not perfect
  • I need to be perfect

How many more things could you add to the list if I left it open ended? I guarantee by the time I proofread this 2-3x I will have added a few more to the list. It’s SO EASY for us to have these self-defeating thoughts, because the world (now more than ever) always has reminders of how we can be better. How to be a better mom or dad, a better employee, how to get bigger boobs or that you need a flat stomach- everywhere you turn (ESPECIALLY social media), we are surrounded by others Highlight Reels of what “perfect” or “ideal” looks like. I talk about this in a past blog called: The Reel is not Real.

So in a world that is always showing us how we can be better, how do we keep our minds in check to what living a good life looks like to us personally?

Master your mind, create your dreams. . . . #Repost @thedailyguru ・・・ Shitty things, people & experiences will happen! It’s going to be a part of life you won’t escape it.... the same as negative thoughts you feel you can’t escape.... .  Learn to make your thoughts & self talk encouraging, strong & positive & just watch how much faster you bounce back from the shitty situations in life 🖤 #lifesajourney .

We have to flip the script.

Yes, the script in your mind, the years of experiences that have molded you and your thoughts- it’s time to flip the script and remind yourself that you are a human and capable of amazing things, even if you’re not perfect, have made mistakes, don’t look this way or act this way, have this job, achieved this or that… IT DOES NOT MATTER. These things do not define your life and dwelling on them only robs you of living your BEST, happiest and fulfilled life.

You all know me, when I write, the topic usually has to do with something that is close to my heart and something either I or someone I know has or is going through. I think this is one topic I can say, ALL of us struggle with. We all have our own thoughts and preconceived notions of ourselves and what others expect of us. Lately, I’ve been in my own head with negative self talk; comparing myself to others success, doubting my growth and path in my exercise journey… honestly have thought, “why am I even doing this?”

YOU GUYS—- WHY do we do this? Not the “this” I’m talking about above, but THIS… as in what this entire blog is about. This self-defeating discussion with ourselves.

WHY do we do this?

Well friends, I’m committing to breaking the habit and here’s why: I am tired of suffocating moments of joy and successes by shining a light on my worries and insecurities. The truth is 99% of the things we over analyze, beat ourselves up over or stay up at night worrying about, don’t happen. This is a fact. So why not work on putting things in place to shake these thoughts as they start approaching and work toward more positive self talk all together?

Here are some tips on how to get started:

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I’m starting with the above, and one tip I’d like to add is: If you’re having a moment of overwhelming negative self talk and you need to kick it, phone a friend! There are a handful of people I know I can turn to when my self talk is all out of wack! These are the people who speak to you the way you would normally speak to others: patiently, kindly, lovingly, etc and they’re also your reminder of how much you are a rock star at life! Tap into these people- because the people we trust the most outside of ourselves is our tribe.

All in all, I want to work on challenging my negative self talk, figuring out where it’s coming from, and shifting my perspective to more positive thoughts and feelings. But just like with anything, in order to get better at it, you need to practice it daily, so I plan on doing just that!

Here is what I need to know you!

  1. What struggles do you have with Self Talk?

  2. Do you have an effective way of talking yourself out of Negative Self Talk?

  3. Do you like helpful checklists like the above to reference in the future?

Thanks for the read, friends! Let’s try talking to ourselves the way we talk to others: with love, support, patience and excitement! We really do deserve it.

Cheers,

-Aurora✨✨

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Cleaning · Faith · Family · Home · Living with Intention · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

When You’re Tired, Rest.

“Let yourself rest.”

If you’re like me, you’re not very good at being sick. While I’d love to tell you that I’m someone who has a perfectly balanced life, filled with feelings of full accomplishment and getting plenty of sleep, the reality is, most times I find myself to be the person burning the candle at both ends. Every once in a while, this all catches up to me, and my body won’t allow me to keep going in the manor in which I’ve been pushing. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

So here I was, plugging, plugging and plugging away at work life, home life and all-the-life-in-between, and I just needed to stop and rest. Ever get so sick that your body will literally not allow for you to keep going? That was this girl right here. Even as my sickness rapidly knocked me down, I tried fighting it and refused to believe I was getting sick.

Why do we do that?

Seriously… why the heck do we do that?

I’ll tell you why I do—— society (friends, our job, strangers around us, social norms), all show us that we should be go-go-go, and if we stop and take a break, we’re lazy, or we’ll be passed by the person who refuses to stop.

I have literally thought when sick or needing a rest, “Ugh but I could be doing __________ or ________. I wanted to get ________ done. I need to get _________ to _________before _______. All things that could wait until you’re feeling better… but we tell ourselves we should be getting done now! And when I’m in go-go-go mode, I know I’m not living my healthiest life. I’m not drinking enough water, exercising, putting healthy foods in my body— that’s all out the window, because I have something better and more important I need to take care of. (I just rolled my eyes at myself as I typed that).

What is more important that your physical and mental health?

Nothinngggggggggggggggggggggg.

I got to the point 2 weeks ago when I was sick (I think I had a strand of the flu… fever, chills, cough, wheezing, etc.), where I legit made a deal with God. Yes, I was so ill I was talking aloud to the Big G, and I said, “God, if you could help take this illness away from me, I promise to never take advantage of my health again.” I know, super dramatic, but truthfully, it’s how I felt. When you’re taking a bunch of meds, using an inhaler to breathe and keeping your husband and dog up all night, you start to think, ooookkkkkkk how can I help this to never happen again???  Of course, you can’t help the germs floating around us, but there is plenty of things I could change in my life to help lesson my chances of getting sick like this. (Ever hear of vitamins Aurora??)

The biggest lesson of all here though, is that: It Is OKAY To Rest. It’s 100% OKAY. It’s okay to unplug, take time from work, lay on the couch (and binge watch Queer Eye on Netflix) and relaxxxxxxxxxx. If your body or your mind need it, you need to listen.

Have you had an experience similar to mine? What did you say to yourself when you finally stopped and allowed yourself to rest? Did you talk to the Big G like me?

Thanks for reading friends, and wherever you are, go grab a vitamin C or two.

 

To putting our health first,

-Aurora

 

 

 

Faith · Family · Friendship · Home · Housekeeping · Living with Intention · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Our Heat Pump Broke… And I’m Happy It Did!

Life Quote: Remember, most of the stress in your life comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude, and all that stress will disappear.

I sound crazy right? Our heat pump in our home, BROKE, and I am happy that it did. And if you asked me how I felt about our heat going out (in the middle of winter, mind you) 2 weeks ago, I was not feeling the way I do now.

As a matter of fact, I was worried, stressing out over cost and feeling a strain in our home that normally isn’t there. Yes, I know…

“Welcome to being a homeowner…”

Honestly, if one more person said that to me that first week of dealing with this, I may have burst. The stress and anxiety that came with this situation wasn’t because we didn’t understand things like this happen as homeowners, it was deeper than that. It was the tension felt over our current financial situation, the worried/panic filled initial response and honestly, bad communication.

So why in the HELL am I happy this happened?

41 Motivational And Inspirational Quotes You're Going To Love

I am a huge believer in seeing the silver lining to all situations. No… not in the second they happen… we’re all entitled to having a moment of freaking out, but after the fact, I like to take a look back and reflect on situations like this. What if anything could I have done differently, what did I learn, what am I proud of, etc.

There are 3 main reasons I am grateful our heat pump broke and the lessons I learned because of it:

  • Faith, Family and Friends.
    • Time and time again, our family and friends show up when we need them most. I will never take for granted the amazing people in our lives who offered electric heaters, words of encouragement, connections to HVAC businesses and amazing advice about a topic we knew little about. Tough times show you who shows up FOR you. It’s a refreshing reminder of how much people care about you. Due to all of this assistance, #2 happened!
  • Remembering it’s okay to ask questions.
    • I put out on FB that we needed some help, and my friend’s mom reached out to me immediately. Turns out her husband has owned Indoor Comfort Specialists Inc. here in the Lehigh Valley for over 30 years. He came over the next morning and looked at our unit, offered advice on whether or not to fix or replace all together, then asked a few questions about our warranty and why the parts weren’t covered. This conversation lead me to call the manufacturer back, not accept the first answer I received, asked more questions, and ultimately, the company found an error in our warranty and was able to get the parts fixed. FOR FREEEEEE. GUYS!… this is probably the biggest lesson of all-  if something doesn’t feel right, or if you have questions, ASK THEM. The road to getting our parts for free had a lot of twists and turns, but if I never asked the questions, and accepted the original “your warranty is expired,” we wouldn’t have saved the thousands of dollars that we have!
      • Lehigh Valley peeps– if we had to replace everything, we would have gone to Indoor Comfort Specialists because they’re AMAZING! Great customer service, locally built successful business and the nicest, most genuine owner/employees on the planet. Definitely give them your business.
  • Better Communication in our relationship.
    • Yikes did this one put my husband and I to the tesssssssssssssst! As a couple that rarely gets into arguments, this situation definitely had us both stressed out and communicating like shit poorly to one another. I learned through this experience the importance of understanding that we all react differently to stress and communicate in our own way when under stress. I needed to jump right in and go into problem solving mode, wanted to talk it through, etc. while my husband needed time to process, think of different solutions and kept more to himself. Our different responses to what was going on made us feel tension, some frustration and ultimately, alone. Looking at it from this end, I realize that not having many arguments (while wonderful), lead to us not knowing how different our responses would be, and what that meant. In the days following all of this, my husband and I had a nice long talk about what went down and how we communicated to each other and why. This not only makes me love my husband even more (I love life convos with him, and that he likes them, too), but I know it’s a healthy conversation that will help in the future when the next stressor arises.

Thankful for being blessed with good friends

So, I am happy our heat pump broke. I’m happy because it reminded me of so many positive relationships in my life, gave me a lot of life lessons I know will help in the future and ultimately, strengthened my relationship.

To the universe– I think I have gained what I need from this lesson, if you could chill with the home ownership issues for a bit, I’d appreciate it 😊

To always learning and growing… ♥

-Aurora

Dreams · Faith · Family · Friendship · Goals · Living with Intention · Motivation · New Year · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized · Valentine’s Day

Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Week friends!

Ahhh I love, love. Valentine’s Day is always one of my favorite holidays because we’re taking the time to acknowledge the love in our life in a way that’s more than we typically would. I am one of those people who believe we should ALWAYS celebrate the love in our life, but I also love the day that’s devoted to it– Valentine’s Day! ❤️

There is something though, that I know many people can relate to, and feel this time of year, and that’s being alone on Valentine’s Day.

So how do you celebrate a holiday that’s focused on love, when you’re not in it?

I think an alternative to throwing a SICK Anti-Valentine’s Day Party is that you can also celebrate the love you feel in your life and the love you have for yourself. I know, not as fun and less of a party- BUT the day itself celebrates love, so why not celebrate the love you have for others (even if not romantic), and the self love you have (or need to work on) for yourself?

I think it’s so important to ALWAYS practice self-love, whether you’re in a relationship or not, so why not use the day as a treat-yo-self, love yourself, remind yourselfday that you’re worthy of love?

So to my single friends and readers, Happy Valentine’s Day- I hope you spend the day remembering that the day is about LOVE and not necessarily about being in it. I think it’s important to remember that this day is going to change meaning throughout all of our lives, so while you’re waiting for your person to enter your life, love yourself a little bit extra and remember that love surrounds you always.

To my friends and readers in relationships– I echo the above message 10 fold, and also want to remind you to use this day and appreciate, love on and reflect on the love in your life. Love is magic, and all too often, we don’t treat it each day like we do on Valentine’s Day.

On a personal note…

I’ve seen the meaning of Valentine’s Day evolve over the years in my own life. And year after year, I become more and more grateful for the love I have with my husband, our incredible family and the love we receive from close friends and people in our lives. I’ve had this day pass where I didn’t feel much love at all, and days where my heart is bursting. So this year, I’m tearing a page from all the above and just appreciating all the love I feel in my life. I know I’m surrounded by it, so that’s what I’ll celebrate this year.

My dear friends, Happy Valentine’s Day. If it makes a difference, I LOVE YOU and am sending it to you no matter where you are.

To you & your Valentines… ❤️

-Aurora

 

PS, Xerox also has these addddorrrrabblleeeeeee FREE card print outs if you want any for your friends or loves!!!

Counseling · Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Family · Friendship · Goals · Housekeeping · Living with Intention · Motivation · Networking · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Me… 10 Years Ago Vs Now #10YearChallenge

Happy Sunday friends! I went along with the other couple million on social media and completed the #10YearChallenge a few days ago. If you have been hiding under a rock don’t know what I’m talking about- the concept is simple: you find a photo of yourself from 10 years ago and one that is current, and you post the side by side views.

WOW

The intention of this challenge was to show how different we all look after 10 years. At 31 however, I found myself looking at the girl on the left, and thinking: “WOW, if I could talk to this girl, the things I would tell her about her life to come.”

So I posted this photo on My Instagram (Click to follow) and I wrote the caption:

What would I tell Aurora Boo 10 years ago if future me had a chance to speak to her? YOU LOOK AMAZING, STOP THINKING YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH AND THAT YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. Oh, and THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IS ON HIS WAY, HANG TIGHT GIRLFRIEND❤️ {& keep your signature picture pose- it’s gonna be a hit later down the road}! I can’t believe the #10YearChallenge just inspired my next blog post! See you all on Sunday! 😘

So here we are…

THINK about this, where were you 10 years ago and what did you think of yourself? Were you in school? Were you in a relationship? Did things feel awful? Did things feel perfect? Now I ask… how different does it look than you thought it would?

Did you think you’d be married? Did you think you’d have kids? No kids? Did you think you’d be advanced in your career? Or are you in a career you never thought you’d be in? Did you think you’d be retired already? My friends….

This is called, LIFE!… & growing up/ growing old

BUT!…. I have to laugh when I think back to myself at 21. Didn’t we all think we’d have kids in a few years and consider our 30’s being OLD? I certainly did. Never did I think that at 31 years old, I wouldn’t have at least 2-3 kids. Why did I think that? Because my parents had me and my siblings when my mom was in her 20’s… and we’re supposed to be following the footsteps of our parents, right? Man, I’m literally sitting her smirking thinking about what I thought life would be like and how it is.

I truly, wholeheartedly, love my life. Every aspect of it: the people in it, my marriage, my relationship with God, my career, my accomplishments, the life lessons (difficult and positive), and where my life is headed. It just looks so different than how the girl on the left thought it would look.

So, what would I tell the girl on the left at 21, that I know now at 31?

I would pat her on the back and tell her she’s doing a great job, even though sometimes she doesn’t feel good enough or that she’s on the right track. I would tell her that it’s okay to challenge people you love, even though you worry it’ll be perceived as disrespectful and that growing up comes with forming your own beliefs, non-negotiables and boundaries… but that kindness is imperative. I’d tell her that one day the people she’s challenging will actually appreciate her for that, and thank her for helping teach them a thing or two along the way. I’d tell her that it’s okay if you’re not 100% confident that your current relationship is the forever relationship, and that what you’re feeling in the relationship is valid, and should be heard. I’d tell her she can have more than one deep love in life and that her soul mate is out there. I’d also tell her that she’ll find him soon and to go with her gut. Lastly, I’d tell her it’s okay to say NO sometimes.

Things I would want to tell her, but I wouldn’t, because they gave her the best life experience and growth: Don’t take out more student loans than you need- future Aurora will thank you. Drop the friends that make you feel bad about yourself, or cause too much drama in your life- they’re using you for your energy, and this will eventually burn you out.

It’s amazing how this fun internet challenge really inspired me to think a little more inward. What I gained by looking back is something I will take with me looking forward: Things that are paining me now, or keep me up at night, will all iron themselves out over time, and stressing about them now, and feeling negative about them, won’t make them go away- they’ll just continue giving me stress and worry. So, looking into my next 10 years, I will try harder to shake the things that worry me, and instead focus on and LOVE the heck out of the things/people in my life that bring me joy.

Did you complete the 10 Year Challenge? If so, what would you tell yourself 10 years ago if you knew what you knew now? Would love to hear it in the comments!

Love,

Aurora ✨✨

Community Giving · Counseling · Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Family · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Motivation · Networking · New Year · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Celebrating YOU on your Birthday

I love Birthdays. I’ve said this before on this blog and I will say it again.

Your birthday is like a personal New Year.

It’s an opportunity to reflect on the year that has passed and to look forward to things you want to accomplish. I spoke about this idea 2 years ago in my blog titled, The Importance of Birthdays, where I talk about why I feel we need to take the day (or week or month) and celebrate YOUR life. At that point in my life, I was about to turn 29 and reflected on how far I’ve taken this website and where I want to go. This time around, I’m taking a look back at all of the amazing things year 30 brought me (new home, new job, amazing times with family a friends, a new niece, Godmother-hood and so much more), and thinking about my hopes and dreams for what 31 has in store.

31…

I’m going to be married with a few kids and be well into my career…

LOL… how many of us thought that?! When I was 15, the thought of being in my 30’s meant I was OLD and obviously living life as a mom with a million and one kids. I would say that my generation however, is the first to show that this isn’t the norm anymore. Yes, many of my family and friends began a family in their 20’s, {which is great}, but it’s socially acceptable to not start a family now until you are in your 30’s, where before it was looked down upon. While age is “only a number,” history has taught us that certain things need to happen in certain years, and that idea has faded quite a bit. For me, I’m enjoying every single year and appreciating the things I’m learning, the paths life has put me on, the people I’ve met and the difference I’m making in the lives of those around me.

Since today is my birthday, I’m feeling extra reflective about where the last year has taken me, but am even more excited to see what the year ahead has in store. The one thing that I know I’m looking for to is the constant and ever changing project of bettering myself.

What good is a New Year if you don’t have resolutions, right?

In year 31, I’m going to be more forgiving of others and project more positivity and warmth to those around me than I ever have before. I want to work on the inside so it reflects even brighter on the outside.

What are your feelings on birthdays? Do you like celebrating them? Do you need to show yourself a little more love on your birthday? If my vote counts, I say you go all in and celebrate that amazing life of yours! Whether your 15, 18, 25, 37, 52, 60, 71 or 100, every new year offers us the opportunity to do things we want, say what needs to be said, travel, change, date, get married, start a hobby…

W H A T E V E R   W E   W A N T

Use your birthday as the launching pad to the life you want to live.. even if it’s for this year only!

Happy birthday to you, and happy birthday to me!

Cheers,

-Aurora

Children · Community Giving · Counseling · Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Family · Friendship · Goal Digger · Goals · Motivation · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

If You Can’t Be Kind, Be Quiet.

Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of STRENGTH.

This week I came across a few instances and reminders of how important it is to be KIND. Most importantly, I was reminded how important it is to be kind, even when someone isn’t being kind to you or has done something hurtful or rude to you. YIKES is that a hard one or what? You know me, and my likelihood of being a positivity promoter, but how can you do that when someone is rude or mean to you?

It isn’t easy!

There is someone in my life, whom I care a lot about, that sometimes falls in the category I mentioned above. Every once in awhile, they cross that line of no return: they say something that is mean, rude or insensitive, and it leaves me wondering:

what the heck did I do do deserve that?

So when I tell you that I KNOW being kind to a rude person is not easy, I mean it. How can you turn the cheek when it’s someone close to you and also, how do you turn the cheek when it’s someone NOT close to you (maybe a boss, co-worker, person on the street, acquaintance, social media troll etc). I’ll touch on both of these topics:

  1. Someone close to you. I just paused and sighed as I wrote that. This is probably the worst. I am a firm believer in that if you allow someone to continuously treat you a certain way {good or bad}, that they will continue to do so, because it’s a learned, established behavior. In my adult life, I’ve never had a problem with confrontation, nor do I view tough conversations as negative, because I believe they’re important to reach a positive outcome. I expect, that if we’re having a mature conversation, that two adults should be able to come to a resolution, even if not right away, {or if there’s some screaming and yelling}, because they both should have the same desired outcome- a resolution. If the other person isn’t on this same page, or isn’t open to mature discussion (right away or ever), the Road Less Traveled here, is Kindness. I think this is most applicable with people who might not be being anywhere (family, bosses, co-workers etc). People do not have to be on the same page as you for you to be kind to them. By being kind, you’re respecting that they aren’t where you’re at and whatever position it is that they have in your life. My advice, you remain calm and kind to these people. Be the example of how they should act, and remember, being kind always puts you in right.

2. Someone NOT close to you. These people ALWAYS get 1 of 2 things from me: a quick witted (but KIND, sometimes sarcastic) response OR a smile and no response at all.

Because sometimes, being KIND also means keeping your mouth shut.

Especially when you know it won’t help make the situation better. In my career, it’s not uncommon for me to have hard conversations with employees, and every once in awhile, a rude, unnecessary comment gets directed toward me. Sometimes it’s public, sometimes it’s behind closed doors, but it does happen. I would say 99.9% of the time, it has nothing to do with me, and more about the issue at hand, so I always try to remember that. This might be an occasion where I smile and not say much, or I respond kindly and try to understand their view. This is also where I practice keeping my mouth shut. Is there someone in your workplace bothering you? Can you try harder to keep a smile, and focus on yourself? It’s not easy people, but I’m telling you- It’s Worth IT!

I think another place we see this is in our own communities and day-to-day interactions with strangers. It is SO important to remember Kindness, even when we are in a rush or having a bad day. Why? Because of the ripple-effect not being kind can have. Imagine the impact you can make in someones day by going out of your way to be Kind, rather than the opposite effect of what being rude, mean or frustrated can create.

I’m going to leave you with inspiration I’ve gained over the last week. I began following Real Talk Kim on Twitter and think she is one of the realest, most genuine people on there! She’s all about keeping it real, while also promoting positivity, faith and being Kind. I also listen weekly to the Podcast of my favorite Bachelorette, Kaitlyn Bristowe  and her guests this week, Lauren Paul and Molly Thompson, are the creators of the Kind Campaign. This campaign focuses on girl on girl bullying, and it’s lasting effects, while also taking a preventative measure, focusing on forgiveness and KINDness. It’s truly remarkable, and I encourage you to check it out. I’m passing along the inspiration I received from them, so help keep the chain going!

What a difference we could all make if we chose to treat one another with Kindness, even, and especially when, it isn’t easy.

And remember…

Now go spread some Kindess!

Cheers,

-Aurora

Dreams · Entrepreneur · Faith · Family · Friendship · Goals · Housekeeping · Motivation · Networking · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Think 3 Happy Thoughts

This Weeks Challenge:

 

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Why you ask? Because it feels better than beginning the day with negativity, anxiety, stress or an ungrateful heart.

My challenge to you is that you TRY YOUR HARDEST to take a moment and reflect on 3 things you are grateful for EVERY morning!.. and project your gratitude on the day ahead of you.

Did you know…

 

That 98% of the things we worry about DON’T EVEN HAPPEN? It’s true!! So why not start your morning on the best foot possible and make the most of your morning and day. Here are my 3 gratitude reflections:

I am grateful for…

  1. My supportive husband
  2. My job, where I feel supported, respected and appreciated more than ever
  3. That my dog didn’t lay ontop of me the entire next last night (like this whole past week!), so I could get a full nights rest!

What are you grateful for?

Cheers,

-Aurora