Counseling · Expectations · Journaling · Living with Intention · Relationships · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Balancing Other People’s Expectations

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Talk about a visual!

Lately I’ve been realizing how much of my own happiness/disappointments within myself are based around pleasing others or living up to their expectations of me. I find myself feeling stressed over what someone might think, how they took this or that, whether or not they think that is good enough, etc etc etc.

Sounds exhausting, right?

This is where my “SO WHAT” mantra comes in. So what if you’re not living up to others expectations of you, does that matter? Are their expectations realistic and do they match what’s important to you?

What actually matters is whether or not you are (or are becoming) the version of yourself that you went to be!! It only matters if you are living up to your own expectations. And guess what? If you’re not, you have the power, every-single-day, to change that. Remember that what others expect of us isn’t always about us- it’s can be about a fear, or an insecurity of theirs that they’re projecting on you or needing from you. Others expectations often have nothing to do with us specifically. And just how others do it to us, it’s important to remember that sometimes we can be doing that to others as well. It’s not easy to be mindful of, but if you are, you’re ahead of the curve!

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On the flip side, what’s even crazier to think, is that majority of the time, the expectations we think others have about us, don’t even exist! We are subconsciously making things “heavier” than they need to be! Somewhere along the line in our relationship other people, we may have developed a feeling of what they expect from us as friends, siblings, co-workers, partners, colleagues, acquaintances, etc etc etc. Most of the time, however, you’ll find, the things people love and value in you are a lot less complicated than what you think you have to live up to.

Again for those who need to read this again:

…the things people love and value in you are a lot less complicated than what you think you have to live up to.

Being honest, I read that for myself again, too.

To overthinking a little less, letting go of the heavy feelings, giving ourselves more grace and sharing that grace with others too…

Cheers,

-Aurora

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Counseling · Faith · Friendship · Journaling · Living with Intention · Motivation · Networking · Self Realization · Uncategorized

You Need To Forgive That Person, Today.

YIKES

Do you see the awkward shape of this photo? It’s because it’s a fortune from a fortune cookie I opened about a week ago. I got this one, while my husbands fortune said something about coming into money soon and my friends fortune gave her winning lottery numbers. Compared to them, how on earth did I get the deep fortune?! And since when did fortunes become so inspiring? This specifically meant a lot to me, because I’ve had some things weighing on my heart, and they have to do with forgiveness.

I’m not someone who holds grudges. Usually, if something is bothering me, or I’m upset, I share it. To me, there aren’t many things stronger than a good conversation that is open and honest. Even if it’s hard, it hurts, leads to an argument- talking these things out eventually makes relationships stronger, or shows you who may not belong in your life.

Of course, I wasn’t always this way, but over the years, I’ve learned to give people the benefit of the doubt, and welcome conversation before simply writing someone off. I’m sure this goes along with growing up and maturing… but I also know there are plenty of people out there who don’t take an approach similar to mine.

So who do I need to forgive?!

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It’s the juicy part, sure, but it’s also the part that would distract the point of this blog. And what is the point exactly? It’s simple: if there is someone in your life that you need to forgive, you just need to do it. Even if they owe you an apology, but their ego will never allow for them to see it, or if you know they feel remorse, but the battle of who was right and who was wrong isn’t worth it- you just need to forgive.

The truth is, when I flipped to the above thought in my You Are A Badass Daily Calendar today, it couldn’t have been more spot on to how I’ve already been feeling. If we sit and wait for validation or apologies proving we were right in a situation we felt we were wronged, we’re wasting our time. Time we could be happy and feeling grateful for the positive relationships in our lives.

So I am choosing to forgive– leaving negativity at the door and moving forward into a more positive way of thinking about those I’ve needed to forgive… and then I’m letting it go.

I’m letting it go.

Who in your life do you need to forgive and let go of negative feelings about?! A close friend, an acquaintance, someone you don’t speak to anymore? Forgive them. For yourself, forgive them. Today. Just believe me.

Feeling a lot lighter as I close out this post.

To forgiveness 💛

Aurora

Faith · Family · Friendship · Home · Housekeeping · Living with Intention · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Our Heat Pump Broke… And I’m Happy It Did!

Life Quote: Remember, most of the stress in your life comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude, and all that stress will disappear.

I sound crazy right? Our heat pump in our home, BROKE, and I am happy that it did. And if you asked me how I felt about our heat going out (in the middle of winter, mind you) 2 weeks ago, I was not feeling the way I do now.

As a matter of fact, I was worried, stressing out over cost and feeling a strain in our home that normally isn’t there. Yes, I know…

“Welcome to being a homeowner…”

Honestly, if one more person said that to me that first week of dealing with this, I may have burst. The stress and anxiety that came with this situation wasn’t because we didn’t understand things like this happen as homeowners, it was deeper than that. It was the tension felt over our current financial situation, the worried/panic filled initial response and honestly, bad communication.

So why in the HELL am I happy this happened?

41 Motivational And Inspirational Quotes You're Going To Love

I am a huge believer in seeing the silver lining to all situations. No… not in the second they happen… we’re all entitled to having a moment of freaking out, but after the fact, I like to take a look back and reflect on situations like this. What if anything could I have done differently, what did I learn, what am I proud of, etc.

There are 3 main reasons I am grateful our heat pump broke and the lessons I learned because of it:

  • Faith, Family and Friends.
    • Time and time again, our family and friends show up when we need them most. I will never take for granted the amazing people in our lives who offered electric heaters, words of encouragement, connections to HVAC businesses and amazing advice about a topic we knew little about. Tough times show you who shows up FOR you. It’s a refreshing reminder of how much people care about you. Due to all of this assistance, #2 happened!
  • Remembering it’s okay to ask questions.
    • I put out on FB that we needed some help, and my friend’s mom reached out to me immediately. Turns out her husband has owned Indoor Comfort Specialists Inc. here in the Lehigh Valley for over 30 years. He came over the next morning and looked at our unit, offered advice on whether or not to fix or replace all together, then asked a few questions about our warranty and why the parts weren’t covered. This conversation lead me to call the manufacturer back, not accept the first answer I received, asked more questions, and ultimately, the company found an error in our warranty and was able to get the parts fixed. FOR FREEEEEE. GUYS!… this is probably the biggest lesson of all-  if something doesn’t feel right, or if you have questions, ASK THEM. The road to getting our parts for free had a lot of twists and turns, but if I never asked the questions, and accepted the original “your warranty is expired,” we wouldn’t have saved the thousands of dollars that we have!
      • Lehigh Valley peeps– if we had to replace everything, we would have gone to Indoor Comfort Specialists because they’re AMAZING! Great customer service, locally built successful business and the nicest, most genuine owner/employees on the planet. Definitely give them your business.
  • Better Communication in our relationship.
    • Yikes did this one put my husband and I to the tesssssssssssssst! As a couple that rarely gets into arguments, this situation definitely had us both stressed out and communicating like shit poorly to one another. I learned through this experience the importance of understanding that we all react differently to stress and communicate in our own way when under stress. I needed to jump right in and go into problem solving mode, wanted to talk it through, etc. while my husband needed time to process, think of different solutions and kept more to himself. Our different responses to what was going on made us feel tension, some frustration and ultimately, alone. Looking at it from this end, I realize that not having many arguments (while wonderful), lead to us not knowing how different our responses would be, and what that meant. In the days following all of this, my husband and I had a nice long talk about what went down and how we communicated to each other and why. This not only makes me love my husband even more (I love life convos with him, and that he likes them, too), but I know it’s a healthy conversation that will help in the future when the next stressor arises.

Thankful for being blessed with good friends

So, I am happy our heat pump broke. I’m happy because it reminded me of so many positive relationships in my life, gave me a lot of life lessons I know will help in the future and ultimately, strengthened my relationship.

To the universe– I think I have gained what I need from this lesson, if you could chill with the home ownership issues for a bit, I’d appreciate it 😊

To always learning and growing… ♥

-Aurora