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Let’s Talk Self Talk

Pep Talks // illustration by Mari Andrew via Cup of Jo

Let’s Talk SELF TALK. Anyone else read the above and think… WOW… that IS how I talk to those people in my life! And now stop for a second, and ask yourself, “Do I always talk to myself this way?…” with understanding, excitement, happiness, patience etc etc etc. The answer is a hard NO in my book. We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to internal thoughts and self talk.

  • I’ll never be good enough
  • I don’t look the way I should
  • I hate my body
  • I didn’t do as well as others expect me to
  • There is no coming back from that mistake
  • I’m not strong enough
  • I’m not enough
  • I can’t control my stress
  • I’m not lovable
  • I’ll be alone forever
  • I’ll never be as good as them
  • I’m not perfect
  • I need to be perfect

How many more things could you add to the list if I left it open ended? I guarantee by the time I proofread this 2-3x I will have added a few more to the list. It’s SO EASY for us to have these self-defeating thoughts, because the world (now more than ever) always has reminders of how we can be better. How to be a better mom or dad, a better employee, how to get bigger boobs or that you need a flat stomach- everywhere you turn (ESPECIALLY social media), we are surrounded by others Highlight Reels of what “perfect” or “ideal” looks like. I talk about this in a past blog called: The Reel is not Real.

So in a world that is always showing us how we can be better, how do we keep our minds in check to what living a good life looks like to us personally?

Master your mind, create your dreams. . . . #Repost @thedailyguru ・・・ Shitty things, people & experiences will happen! It’s going to be a part of life you won’t escape it.... the same as negative thoughts you feel you can’t escape.... .  Learn to make your thoughts & self talk encouraging, strong & positive & just watch how much faster you bounce back from the shitty situations in life 🖤 #lifesajourney .

We have to flip the script.

Yes, the script in your mind, the years of experiences that have molded you and your thoughts- it’s time to flip the script and remind yourself that you are a human and capable of amazing things, even if you’re not perfect, have made mistakes, don’t look this way or act this way, have this job, achieved this or that… IT DOES NOT MATTER. These things do not define your life and dwelling on them only robs you of living your BEST, happiest and fulfilled life.

You all know me, when I write, the topic usually has to do with something that is close to my heart and something either I or someone I know has or is going through. I think this is one topic I can say, ALL of us struggle with. We all have our own thoughts and preconceived notions of ourselves and what others expect of us. Lately, I’ve been in my own head with negative self talk; comparing myself to others success, doubting my growth and path in my exercise journey… honestly have thought, “why am I even doing this?”

YOU GUYS—- WHY do we do this? Not the “this” I’m talking about above, but THIS… as in what this entire blog is about. This self-defeating discussion with ourselves.

WHY do we do this?

Well friends, I’m committing to breaking the habit and here’s why: I am tired of suffocating moments of joy and successes by shining a light on my worries and insecurities. The truth is 99% of the things we over analyze, beat ourselves up over or stay up at night worrying about, don’t happen. This is a fact. So why not work on putting things in place to shake these thoughts as they start approaching and work toward more positive self talk all together?

Here are some tips on how to get started:

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I’m starting with the above, and one tip I’d like to add is: If you’re having a moment of overwhelming negative self talk and you need to kick it, phone a friend! There are a handful of people I know I can turn to when my self talk is all out of wack! These are the people who speak to you the way you would normally speak to others: patiently, kindly, lovingly, etc and they’re also your reminder of how much you are a rock star at life! Tap into these people- because the people we trust the most outside of ourselves is our tribe.

All in all, I want to work on challenging my negative self talk, figuring out where it’s coming from, and shifting my perspective to more positive thoughts and feelings. But just like with anything, in order to get better at it, you need to practice it daily, so I plan on doing just that!

Here is what I need to know you!

  1. What struggles do you have with Self Talk?

  2. Do you have an effective way of talking yourself out of Negative Self Talk?

  3. Do you like helpful checklists like the above to reference in the future?

Thanks for the read, friends! Let’s try talking to ourselves the way we talk to others: with love, support, patience and excitement! We really do deserve it.

Cheers,

-Aurora✨✨

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Counseling · Faith · Friendship · Journaling · Living with Intention · Motivation · Networking · Self Realization · Uncategorized

You Need To Forgive That Person, Today.

YIKES

Do you see the awkward shape of this photo? It’s because it’s a fortune from a fortune cookie I opened about a week ago. I got this one, while my husbands fortune said something about coming into money soon and my friends fortune gave her winning lottery numbers. Compared to them, how on earth did I get the deep fortune?! And since when did fortunes become so inspiring? This specifically meant a lot to me, because I’ve had some things weighing on my heart, and they have to do with forgiveness.

I’m not someone who holds grudges. Usually, if something is bothering me, or I’m upset, I share it. To me, there aren’t many things stronger than a good conversation that is open and honest. Even if it’s hard, it hurts, leads to an argument- talking these things out eventually makes relationships stronger, or shows you who may not belong in your life.

Of course, I wasn’t always this way, but over the years, I’ve learned to give people the benefit of the doubt, and welcome conversation before simply writing someone off. I’m sure this goes along with growing up and maturing… but I also know there are plenty of people out there who don’t take an approach similar to mine.

So who do I need to forgive?!

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It’s the juicy part, sure, but it’s also the part that would distract the point of this blog. And what is the point exactly? It’s simple: if there is someone in your life that you need to forgive, you just need to do it. Even if they owe you an apology, but their ego will never allow for them to see it, or if you know they feel remorse, but the battle of who was right and who was wrong isn’t worth it- you just need to forgive.

The truth is, when I flipped to the above thought in my You Are A Badass Daily Calendar today, it couldn’t have been more spot on to how I’ve already been feeling. If we sit and wait for validation or apologies proving we were right in a situation we felt we were wronged, we’re wasting our time. Time we could be happy and feeling grateful for the positive relationships in our lives.

So I am choosing to forgive– leaving negativity at the door and moving forward into a more positive way of thinking about those I’ve needed to forgive… and then I’m letting it go.

I’m letting it go.

Who in your life do you need to forgive and let go of negative feelings about?! A close friend, an acquaintance, someone you don’t speak to anymore? Forgive them. For yourself, forgive them. Today. Just believe me.

Feeling a lot lighter as I close out this post.

To forgiveness 💛

Aurora