Counseling · Dreams · Faith · Friendship · Motivation · Self Realization · Tribes · Uncategorized

Eliminating The Negative In Your Life

Let go of everything that negatively effects your life. The people, the places, ALL of it.

I have talked about this topic before… because you all know how much I love to preach the positive lifestyle, but I let some negativity in recently, and I have to tell you, the reminder to STOP and take a step back helped me so much. So much so, that I wondered how often it is that we find ourselves going down the rabbit hole and before we know it, we’re body deep, and are struggling to regain our footing.

So what happened? We all have those few people in our lives that bring us anxiety or stress, OR they serve as triggers to specific instances in our lives that brought stress, anxiety, negativity, pain, etc etc etc. When I was in the presence of one of these people recently, they did the same thing they always dothey minimized and put down something positive and exciting that I shared, to justify their opposite, negative view. UGH.

So I went down the rabbit hole…

I spent the next hour thinking: WHAT A JERK!!!!!!!!!! SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE!! (Of course this was inside my head– I’ve learned to keep thoughts like that to myself, esp. in an initial response).

I let my mind wonder, doubted myself and allowed for this persons comments to make me think negatively toward myself. “Do they have a point? Why do I think this is so great? Do other people think this way?” Self doubt, self doubt, self doubt. Exactly. What. They. Wanted. See, here is the thing: I know this person typically has a glass half empty attitude, and puts others down when feeling envious, or even, jealous. So part of me is correct… this person hasn’t changed. What CAN CHANGE however, is the way I let it affect me… the way I let it go. So, after this hour passed, I literally said to myself:

This has nothing to do with you. Any negative comments or energy from that person is THEIRS- there is no need for me to take it on as mine.

So here I am… some time after this happened, and while I’m proud I was able to talk myself through it, I thought it was important to share. Negative people, places and instances are all around us. Our biggest, strongest weapon against negativity in our lives is our own ability to look it in the face and see it for what it is. And when you can do that, and you no longer feed it, you can let it go. All of it.

It’s certainly a work in progress, but I’m committed to letting go of and eliminating as much negative from my day to day as possible. When you let the negative in, you decrease the room for light, happiness, growth and my favorite (you already know), positivity.

What negativity are you trying to let go of in your life? Are they people, places, both? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

To kicking it Positive,

Aurora

Community Giving · Goals · Motivation · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Holiday Hope Chest and Holiday Giving Guide Followup!

Hi everyone!!

WOW what an amazing, feel good opportunity the Holiday Hope Chests provided for over 100 of us who put together, wrapped and GAVE an amazing box of presents to children in need here in the Lehigh Valley. To say I’m in awe is an understatement. Each and everyone one of you, near and far, who donated is making a difference in the life of a child. How incredible is that? In the end, 70 Hope Chests were donated in the name of TheWeeklySparkle.com and our initiative to adding a little sparkle into other peoples lives.

The Volunteer Center of the Lehigh Valley was so excited to receive our boxes and sent their thanks to our amazing group of givers! Total, they received over 4,000 Hope Chests!!!! Can you believe it? It’s hard to understand how 4,000 children in our community would go without getting a present this holiday season, but I’m grateful and humbled to know that because of you, and what we’re doing, that they’ll have a piece of Holiday cheer, just as we all love this time of year.

Please contact me for more giving opportunities over the next 2 weeks before Christmas and be sure to check the Community Outreach Calendar at the top of the screen for regular giving opportunity updates monthly! Also check out my previous “Random Acts of Kindness” post for quick ways to make someone’s day this holiday season!!

Happy Holidays, and don’t forget to add sparkle to someone’s life this time of year 🌟✨

-Aurora Beani

Here are some great pics from the Holiday Hope Chest Collections!!!

20131211-111355.jpg

20131211-111405.jpg

20131211-111412.jpg

20131211-111421.jpg

20131211-111432.jpg

20131211-111437.jpg

20131211-111451.jpg

20131211-111502.jpg

20131211-111456.jpg

20131211-111532.jpg

20131211-111521.jpg

20131211-111552.jpg

20131211-111609.jpg

20131211-111603.jpg

Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Graduation, Success and Looking Ahead

20130603-104044.jpg

“When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world, try not to bash into the walls too much, try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”
– Steve Jobs

http://t.co/rsS3FmJtoE

I had the opportunity to watch this video a few days ago, and I knew it was something worth sharing. Steve Jobs is someone I have grown to admire over recent years, as it seemed like his influential and motivational speeches, comments, conversations etc came more to light before his passing. I lump the lessons I’ve learned from him with some of my other favorite, inspirational people, like Oprah, Ellen and classic go-to, Confucius.

Last weekend, I walked in my graduation from the University of Scranton where I received my Masters degree in Community Counseling and Mental Health. While I finished classes months ago, I knew I wanted to walk in the ceremony, as the sense of accomplishment and success hadn’t fully set in since completing my course work. This is probably how I stumbled across this video. Each year around graduation time, all of these videos, commencement speeches and books surface to inspire the grads as they move ahead in life. “Sky’s the limit,” “Oh the places you will go;” “Let your dreams and ambitions come true,” are all sayings and motivation we offer to those graduating in our lives to show them we believe in them and know they have the power to accomplish great things.

In hearing Steve talk in this segment, I’m inspired by the not-so-common approach he takes when looking at achievement and success in life. He says, “…life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.” I LOVE this. He’s right. The world we live in tells us what our successes can amount to and what is expected of us as we strive toward greatness.

I guess what I gather from this mainly, is that we are the ones who can define for ourselves just what greatness is. This is why I’ve begun my journey and created The Weekly Sparkle. This is what my site and definition of Sparkle is: become your best self in the way that YOU define it. Go against the grain. It is so easy to fall in line with what society tells us and expects of us. I am by no means saying we shouldn’t want a family, good career or to “stay in the lines.” I’m simply saying that the greatness within you can be one that the world has never seen; spinning a new way to influence others and add value to the world we live in.

My desire in life is to break the mold, be different, inspire others and leave the world a little bit brighter, just because I was here and impacted the lives of others. As I reached another great milestone in my life, I’m reflecting upon the amazing experiences I’ve had so far, where they can take me, and the blank pages ahead of me that are open for my interpretation and ability to make a change.

I want to continue to pass the Sparkle to all of you, and challenge you to do the same for those in our life. Go against the grain, and be bold.

Sparkle strong,

Aurora

20130603-123025.jpg

Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Genuinely Being Positive

20130419-032212.jpg

I made this quote into a picture because I love it and have always believed in it’s value. We live in a world where it’s easy to take someone who is always happy and in a good mood and categorize them as something negative. “You’re too happy,” “How can you always be smiling?” “You know, some people might take your optimism as being fake or think you’re a push over.” (Those are a few of my favorites). This has to be one of the biggest battles I have faced over the years, because it’s hard for people to believe that genuinely happy people do, in fact, exist.

It hasn’t been a battle in that I feel a need to defend myself, rather, I struggle in helping others see that many live their lives this way, and choose to put their best foot forward each and every day. It’s a choice. You have to wake up each day, or decide in difficult moments, that instead of letting difficulty, anger, fear, anxiety, jealously or negativity take over, that you are knowingly and willingly going to choose the higher route.

This subject came up in speaking with my best friend the other day, as she was dealing with a situation similar to this and knew I would be able to relate. It is not easy being a positive source for the people in your life, especially when at times they are determined to try to provoke negativity within you, or worse, doubt that you’re being genuine. It’s people like my friend who remind me that it’s worth it to live positively and this makes me appreciate our friendship even more.

So why is it viewed as UNrealistic for us to lead a life that’s more positive, or has a silver lining in difficult/challenging times? Because it’s easier to get angry, react impulsively, yell, blame others, be in denial, etc. As with many difficulties, the challenge is to recognize your behaviors, overcome undesirable reactions and change!

As I write this, I must begin getting ready for work, have not slept all night, and am looking forward to a long 10 hour day ahead with no rest. But I’m still optimistic because I got to write for all of you and it’s FRIDAY.

Let’s do this together, shall we?

Xo Aurora

Uncategorized

Be Nice to Yourself! The Power of Self Talk

20130227-104715.jpg

Self talk: the words we use consciously and subconsciously when talking to ourselves. Their affects can be either positive or negative, which will influence how we feel in a particular moment (or longer) and ultimately can cause our behaviors to change.

Self talk is that little voice inside your head that encourages your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Some examples of negative self talk would be: I can’t; This is never going to work; I should give up now; What I’m doing isn’t good enough; I’m not good at this; He/ She won’t ever like me; I’m ugly; I’m not smart enough; I quit; This ONLY happens to me; I NEVER get what I want.

Positive self talk: I can do this; I know things will get better; It’s still going to be a good day; I know with more work I can have what I want; I’m beautiful; I can work hard to succeed; I am not perfect; It’s okay to make mistakes; I love myself; I’m going to make sure I fix this now.

The difference between positives and negatives are the key words we’re using:: CAN, CAN’T, ALWAYS, NEVER, etc. Situations, especially when stressful, easily cause us to use negative self talk and continue down the road where we use ourselves as punching bag and feed into the negativity.

This self talk, however, is different for all of us as we all come from different backgrounds and had different upbringings. How your parents or guardians raised you, how you learned to cope with issues, your experiences with your peers as a child, all influence the way you talk to yourself and the confidence you have in communicating with others. If a child is constantly teased by their peers, and perhaps received the same message at home, it would be assumed that the way in which they speak to themselves may be in a negative light, since this is what they receive from the majority of their relationships and feel they deserve.

As an adult, I think it’s important to be aware of this talk as it happens, and evaluate if you’re being fair to yourself– or just beating yourself up over a situation– not a life changing event. Now, is not ALWAYS or FOREVER, it’s just, now.

So I challenge you to become aware of your self talk and see how it is you are talking to yourself each day and mostly importantly in moments where it’s easy to go down the negative route. And when something good happens, tell yourself the reasons why YOU are great and what YOU did to make it happen… Not luck, not someone else, not odds– but you.

You do not have the power to change all situations or outcomes, but you do have the power to change how you feel about them and the impact they have on your thoughts and feelings.

Remind yourself why you sparkle 🙂

-Aurora

Uncategorized

The Power of Positive

20130205-162332.jpg

I posted this on my Facebook a few days ago, and since doing so, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from my friends and family that they really liked it and re-used it in different places! Some reposted on Facebook, some on Instagram or Twitter, and one even made it the background on his phone to have as a daily reminder and motivation. What is this quote saying and why is it so likable?

For me, it’s because it gives hope and inspires you to surround yourself with the POSITIVE thinkers, and those who live a life of DOING rather than letting life pass by. Who do you surround yourself with? How do you feel when you’re around this people? While it might sound like a trivial question, think about it. Do the people in your life lift you up and want the best for you?… Or do you find yourself being dragged down by them and their weight (drama, baggage, negativity, etc)?

If you’re like me, you may have the “savior” complex where you want to always bring the people around you UP, and essentially put up with others “weight,” because you want to help them come around or become a better person. But, how fair is that to you? At some point, the pressure and stress or carrying around others negativity or half-empty mentality will pay it’s toll. We all owe it to ourselves to be lifted up by the people around us, who “see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it in yourself!”

As it says, SURROUND yourself with the dreamers and the doers. Who in your life is seizing moments and opportunities as they arise and live life to the fullest? Who’s life do you want? Think about it that way. Who do you admire, want to be more like, look up to? Those are the people you should strive to be around.

I once lead a discussion for formerly incarcerated people and recovered addicts that outlined the importance of weeding out the negative in your life. In this, we talked about how the negative people and influences in your life will always have a way of pulling you down, and making you believe (whether you realize it or not) that you’re not deserving, or able to find, anything better. There is nothing in your life that you don’t have the power to walk away from. Nothing.

We will all have our moments. I do all the time. But when the people I care about have their moments, I make sure to be the one who reminds them of the greatness (good life, career, relationship, attractiveness, success, etc etc etc) and they would, and do, the exact same for me.

The people who dream, believe, think and do are the ones who are LIVING. You too can do it, just make the decision to let go of the negative and move forward. It really is that, easy.

Sending you the Sparkle,

Aurora