Self talk: the words we use consciously and subconsciously when talking to ourselves. Their affects can be either positive or negative, which will influence how we feel in a particular moment (or longer) and ultimately can cause our behaviors to change.
Self talk is that little voice inside your head that encourages your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
Some examples of negative self talk would be: I can’t; This is never going to work; I should give up now; What I’m doing isn’t good enough; I’m not good at this; He/ She won’t ever like me; I’m ugly; I’m not smart enough; I quit; This ONLY happens to me; I NEVER get what I want.
Positive self talk: I can do this; I know things will get better; It’s still going to be a good day; I know with more work I can have what I want; I’m beautiful; I can work hard to succeed; I am not perfect; It’s okay to make mistakes; I love myself; I’m going to make sure I fix this now.
The difference between positives and negatives are the key words we’re using:: CAN, CAN’T, ALWAYS, NEVER, etc. Situations, especially when stressful, easily cause us to use negative self talk and continue down the road where we use ourselves as punching bag and feed into the negativity.
This self talk, however, is different for all of us as we all come from different backgrounds and had different upbringings. How your parents or guardians raised you, how you learned to cope with issues, your experiences with your peers as a child, all influence the way you talk to yourself and the confidence you have in communicating with others. If a child is constantly teased by their peers, and perhaps received the same message at home, it would be assumed that the way in which they speak to themselves may be in a negative light, since this is what they receive from the majority of their relationships and feel they deserve.
As an adult, I think it’s important to be aware of this talk as it happens, and evaluate if you’re being fair to yourself– or just beating yourself up over a situation– not a life changing event. Now, is not ALWAYS or FOREVER, it’s just, now.
So I challenge you to become aware of your self talk and see how it is you are talking to yourself each day and mostly importantly in moments where it’s easy to go down the negative route. And when something good happens, tell yourself the reasons why YOU are great and what YOU did to make it happen… Not luck, not someone else, not odds– but you.
You do not have the power to change all situations or outcomes, but you do have the power to change how you feel about them and the impact they have on your thoughts and feelings.
Remind yourself why you sparkle 🙂