How to Start… Now.

October 5, 2017October 5, 2017 AuroraLeave a comment

“Whether you think you’re ready or not, start right now. There is magic in action.”

Ahhhh, this. What I love about this thought is that it’s applicable to almost any goal, dream or action you want to take in your life. If you want to re-enroll in school, start working out, get back on the dating scene, try that new hobby… there is always tomorrow, but why not start RIGHT NOW… if because you can!

I’m going to get a little more personal here, because that’s what this blog has always been about- being open and honest about my own feelings and sharing what I think will be helpful for others who may be thinking or experiencing similar situations in their own life. In order to explain fully, we need to take a quick step back to tie this all together.

Over the last year and a half, I’ve been enjoying everything that being a newly wed has to offer, from moving in together (no, we did not live together beforehand… no crazy reason why, we just thought it would be fun to wait to move in- feel free to ask more about this if interested), spending a lot of quality time together, to adopting our beautiful rescue, Luna, and lastly, buying a new home! It’s been a fun (at times, crazy/difficult/stressful) year, but it has been nothing short of incredible when spending it with my person- my husband, Joe. And while we’ve learned a lot over the last year and have had some amazing times, in our discussions lately, we realized something was missing (~~no, not a baby (yet), slow down~~). In the midst of binge-watching our favorite shows, going out to eat all the time and enjoying life to the fullest, we began letting our fitness and health take a back seat.

Who is Maxx Fitness and why is he hitting my bank account each month?

Image result for gym meme

Friends in a relationship, let me tell you- when your partner (or even a good friend) JOIN YOU in your fitness journey, life is SO MUCH EASIER than if you did it alone. As an extroverted person, I am motivated by others and the environment around me, so going to the gym, and with a partner, are key to me sticking with any program or routine I want to start. Beginning this week, my husband and I have began eating a little bit better and headed back to the gym (What’s up, Maxx!) This is exciting to me, because I obviously want to feel healthy for myself, but I also want to feel good and take all the positivity that a healthy lifestyle can bring, into my marriage. If you’re not in a relationship or don’t have have a close friend to join you on your journey, YOU HAVE ONE in me! Send me a message and I’d be happy to chat and share motivation with you!

So this is my journey on “Starting Now” and putting action into something I want. What’s your journey leading you toward? Here are 5 Steps I’ve created on how to start anything you want in your life, NOW.

Listen, my own worst enemy and the voice that talks me out of things I want to do is my own mind and negative self talk. Have you tried before and failed? Do you lack self-confidence? Has someone told you you’re unable to reach your goal? SO WHAT. This is not the first time I’ve run down this list of ways… and I’m positive I will have to run through it numerous times until I feel that I’ve made it to where I want to go.

So take it from someone who is beginning now… you can too. Whatever your goal is, whatever you want in life, the only one truly holding you back, is you. What is it in your life that you can start now? I’d love to know!

To starting NOW….♥

With love and sparkle, Aurora

Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Viewing Battles as Blessings

May 3, 2017May 3, 2017 Aurora1 Comment

“If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting”

Have you ever gone through a rough patch? My guess is that your answer is probably “yes,” since if you’re reading this you’re most likely human and that comes with the territory. Life is not always easy– which I know I am not the first to tell you this, but sometimes the going truly gets tough… and your response to these moments are pretty important. Take it from me- about 3 months ago I was at a point that felt pretty low: I was miserable in my job, I was being forced to move out of my rental and my loving, amazing Grandmother passed away.

The “Everything Happens in Threes” saying completely applied to my life, and I thought that if a 4th thing occurred, I would break.

As a positive-minded person, of course I knew things would get better; As a person full of faith, I knew God had bigger, better plans for me and was with me; As a person with an amazing husband, family and friends, I knew there were people that would not let me fall and that would have my back along the way. This doesn’t make the rough time any more bearable, nor does it make the pain/sadness/worry/insecurity pass any faster- because you don’t know at the time how good life can be in the future. You’re stuck in the “now.” But hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20. Would it have made any of the feelings I had at the time better if I could see the future? Maybe not, but maybe if I knew life would be amazing now, back then, the anxiety over the unforeseen future would be gone. Which for me personally, was the biggest part.

THE GOOD THING IS THOUGH…

…when you finally reach the light at the end of the dark tunnel, only then can you understand why the battle was worth it.

Every decision, every road block, any negativity or sadness you faced- it lead you here. Now that I’ve reached the end of my tunnel, I can tell you that the blessings have been worth the battle, even though it was hard to see when the light at the end of the tunnel was only a speck. So if you’re going through the battle now, I can tell you IT GETS BETTER, and although it’s easier to read than believe, everything you are looking for is through the tunnel. To reach the blessings you need to go through the battle.

I recently began my dream job (Seriously… I’m so grateful!), am moving into my new home with my husband (that we LOVE!!) and I have extreme peace with my Grandmothers passing and know that she is with me always and that I’m a better person for knowing her.

If the battle is huge, the blessings are BIGGER!!!! If you’re in the dark, keep going!! If you’ve reached the end of your tunnel, good!

To the battles that help us appreciate the blessings,

Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

2017- The Year of What Is

January 22, 2017January 23, 2017 AuroraLeave a comment

I am officially calling 2017 The Year of What Is. So, what does this mean exactly? Think of the saying: “It Is What It Is.” For years, I didn’t like this saying because I thought it was a way of sweeping things under the rug. I thought it was a shrug of the shoulders and the allowing of something to pass by that maybe should be addressed, understood or discussed. I found that friends, family, people I look up to- would all use the phrase when they felt like something was out of their control or couldn’t be fixed, changed etc. When I think deeper about this now, I think the reason I didn’t like the saying stems from my own inability to believe that some things are just what they are. You cannot change them. Whether it was something that happened to you, a relationship with someone in your life or an outcome to something you wish had been different. It’s not what you want it to be- It is what it is.

In a recent conversation with a friend, we got to talking about certain situations in our own lives currently that rather than trying to understand and fight, that we needed to accept and understand that these things can’t be what we want them to be. They are going to be what they are.

*THIS WAS SUCH A HUGE MOMENT FOR ME*

Are you following me here?

I don’t know why or how, but in that moment the saying meant more to me than it ever had. “It Is What It Is,” is not a shrugging of the shoulders, rather, it’s the acceptance that something cannot become what you want it to be just because you want it to be that way or because you want to understand it. In a relationship that means a lot to you, in circumstances at work/home, something you really want for yourself, the lose of a loved one, the pain of a past experience- it is WHAT IS. However- the thing we are able to control in this experience, is our reaction to it. How we proceed with our feelings and the way we view it (the friendship, job, argument, relationship, shortcoming, failure, pain), is up to us. You can’t always change “it,” but you can change the way you feel about it.

I’ve always been one of those people who tried to help change others, if I felt like they needed “fixing.” Whether it was an old boyfriend, troubled friend, a coworker- the therapist in me was always at work trying my best to be there for that person and often offered 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances in the pursuit of trying to understand them and help them become a better person. Some might say I was doing that to feed some of my own ego, and that while I was trying to help them, there was some gain I was trying to obtain for myself. I won’t argue that- I know it has felt good to know you would have contributed to someones happiness or self-discovery, so I won’t say this is too far off track. But I can say, that “fixing” others, or helping them change for what you think is best, is exhausting. This is why accepting WHAT IS is so important. Even with the best intentions, putting so much energy into trying to help, understand, or change someone else or situations only depletes the energy you’re giving back to yourself… and I am finally beginning to understand that.

So I am saying 2017 is the Year of What Is, but I plan on moving forward with the idea that I can’t always control or understand things, but than I can control how I view them and how I allow them to effect me. As someone who has a strong faith and often turns to prayer for solace, comfort and direction, I think this is a strong tool to help these feelings and understanding that you won’t always be able to control the outcome.

I hope this makes sense– maybe it even enlightened some of your thoughts too! If so, please let me know in the comments and I will reply shortly after.

Happy 2017 to all of you!.. best wishes for a healthy new year and accepting what is.

Aurora

Photo cred: I took this photo of the beautiful “Liberty Bell Church” on Hamilton St, Allentown Pennsylvania from my office.

Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Be Soft.

February 29, 2016February 29, 2016 AuroraLeave a comment

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

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I love this saying! In a world where everyone takes everything so personal and has their negative input against this or that, how amazing of a reminder it is to see that it’s okay for us to still feel positive about where we are. I constantly find myself in this internal conflict of whether or not to be consumed by those who are negative, as opposed to staying where I want to be- the positive side. Help me out here, but how many of you can think of one or two people in your life who are always negative? Whether they complain about every day things, gossip about others or tear others down or give their viewpoint about something, but it always seems to have a rain cloud over it. Isn’t it draining?? I interact with people like this at random, and those moments with them (and usually moments following) I feel so overwhelmed and drained. How can someone feel like that all the time? I imagine it’s difficult, and viewing the world where it’s always raining has to steam from more pain than I’m aware of. I just hate the effect I down times allow it to have on me.

A friend of mine from high school wrote on his senior picture to me “Aurora, don’t let the world change who you are.” And this has always stuck with me as I navigate negative situations as they arise. It’s so important to remain who you are, even when faced with something you feel it’s easy to fall into.

The world is a beautiful place… and my little itty bitty blog will always serve as the constant reminder of that. We all are entitled to our bad days (trust me… I’ve had a dozen or two), but I think it’s always important to remember life is good. Being alive is good… and the only person who impacts that viewpoint is you.

Aurora

Community Giving · Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Paying It Forward · Self Realization · Uncategorized

It’s Not About You

March 26, 2014March 26, 2014 AuroraLeave a comment

It’s Not About You

Wow. These four words, while small, are extremely powerful. I had the opportunity of standing among some of the most motivated and inspiring people in the Lehigh Valley last night, and some of their words really stuck with me. At the annual Lehigh Valley Suits Awards, one award recipient started her acceptance speech with these four words. I’ve read them before from the book The Purpose Driven Life and was reminded that these are the very first words in the entire book.

This is what giving is all about. It’s not you. It’s not for you to get something from it, it’s not for personal gain, it’s not for praise or awards. You give and do good things, for others, for them. I love this. This honoree continued by stating that giving and helping others is about the reward and not the award. We do things to benefit others, and then see the amazing impact that was made and how others, communities, etc are changed. You propel the change by your good acts, and then the ripple affect begins! It really is amazing to think about.

How can you give now and immediately? The easiest everyday example of giving would be to smile at everyone you see. Think about it. What if each person you walked by, made eye contact with, passed in the office, etc. you consciously made the effort to smile or say hello to. It’s a small gesture, but I can personally attest to the power of a smile when feeling down or in a bad mood. The easiest thing to give, a smile. Simple concept, great reward.

The other speakers last night were nothing short of inspiration and their impact in our Lehigh Valley community is remarkable. I am proud to have been able to stand among them, and am honored to have received the Emerging Leader Award sponsored by the United Way.

The award ceremony last night made me appreciate the efforts of those right here in our community who are make positive changes and leaving their mark every day. My challenge for you is to see where you can make a difference, and go for it. The first step to volunteering and making a difference is to actually get up and go.

Find your passion, light the spark and make it happen.

And remember, it’s not about you.

Pay it forward ✨
-Aurora

Uncategorized

Your Time is Limited, So Don’t Waste It.

November 5, 2013 AuroraLeave a comment

Dogma. Synonyms of this would be undoubtable ‘truth’ or ‘belief.’ Dogmatism is “a set of beliefs or doctrines that are established as undoubtedly in truth.” Translation, Dogma is what society creates and tells us are ideals. What we should wear, how we’re supposed to act, who we should date, who we should marry, what kind of job we should want, what kind of car we need, what is okay, what’s considered sensitive, how much we should weigh, and lastly, my favorite, what’s expected of us as a whole.

Whether your younger or older, I can imagine that at one point in our lives all of us have felt as though we were supposed to fit into a specific mold. There is a standard out there, created by whom I’m unsure, but there are guidelines presented before us that we’re expected to fill into, somewhere. I believe the point in this saying and why I want to talk about it, is that it is SO EASY to fall into these set out expectations and feeling like you need to go down a path others have set for you.

Our entire lives there will be people we feel as though we need to act a certain way around, because that’s how we allow them to make us feel— do not give power to these people. Even if it’s not verbalized, we give in to these individuals by over-thinking our relationships with them or worrying about them when we shouldn’t. Again, time wasted. We shouldn’t allow people who contribute so little to our growth as human beings a second more than they deserve.

You do NOT need to fall in line with a path that has been beaten for you. There is no extra time given to those who try and please other first, and themselves second. Let me repeat that, there is NO extra time given to those who try and please others first, and themselves second. We all get the same 24 hours, and at one point we need to stop dreaming of what it is we want to do, and actually begin taking the steps to get there. It is okay to like making others happy, but at the end of the day, you have to be pleased with yourself.

So follow your heart. Write down what it is that you want to do- your expectations of yourself. Write them down on paper, online, in a checklist, and mostly, write it in your heart. If you can block out the negative voices that tell you you’re going against the grain, you’ve already won half of the battle. I firmly believe that I lived the first half of my life letting Dogma choose the direction I would go. I followed the crowd and wanted to be liked, which meant doing what others thought I should be doing, even if it wasn’t something I cared for or enjoyed. As I keep growing into an adult, I’m finding that who I’ve decided I wanted to become is actually well received– and liked. All along I was trying to fit in, when the person I am meant to be, needs to stand out, and this person sparkles.

When you feel good about who you’re becoming and the people by your side, there is no care of Dogma or time being wasted. Life your own life, trust in your own instincts, believe in yourself and GO. YOU are first… negative, fears, others, dogma, circumstance, is all… second.

The true you will Sparkle, trust me.

-Aurora Beani

Community Giving · Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

The Impact of Connections and Life Choices.

August 6, 2013August 6, 2013 Aurora1 Comment

Connections.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted to post the last few weeks and I think I am finally able to put into words my thoughts. Have you ever taken a second to think about the people in your life and how they got there? Even your family… While they’ve always been there and will always be there, sometimes your closer with some members than others… But why? Where are these relationships cultivated and what does it all mean? This has been something on my mind a lot lately, as I’ve been so thankful for some of the people in my life, and it made me wonder how I got so lucky, and where my relationships with these people began.

I received a Facebook message from a dear friend of mine that I haven’t spoken to in a little while, reaching out about The Weekly Sparkle, his appreciation for my positive outlook, and offering his own insight on relation to the site and things with his life. It completely made my week. It got me thinking about how I know him and how lucky I am to have someone I hardly have to speak with, but can still feel an impact by their words and our relationship. We met one summer in LA when my best friend and I decided we wanted to experience California. Once I was hired for the job at UCLA {that I found out about one night during drinks with a friend-connection}, I had no idea about the great people I would meet, and how they would become lifelong friends, no matter where in the country they lived.

This is just one occurrence, among many lately that have me taking a step back and realizing how each decision, conversations, moments etc all impact our lives and where we are right now. Even my current relationship, I wouldn’t be in it if I hadn’t decided to take my Target job almost 8 years ago, not knowing 6 years later I’d begin dating one of the best guys I’ve ever known. And in the subject of that, all of the friendships, connections and opportunities I had stemming from my decision to work at Target {and stay there} is mind blowing. I had two offers on the table and went with the one I felt best about… What if I chose the other?

Think about an important decision you made in your life. {Really… Think of one for a second}. Was it a move? The acceptance of a job? Was it a break-up? A proposal? A split decision that would have an immediate consequence? Now… Think about the person(s) who helped you make that decision. Where did you meet them and how they did they get in your life? What if you hadn’t met them and didn’t receive the same advice/counsel and it changed your decision? What pieces of your life would be missing or different because you didn’t make the decision? It’s so amazing how all these tiny details mold our bigger picture.

This is a strong support as to why I don’t believe in having regrets. Each and every decision we make, relationships we build, and doors we open, lead to paths in our lives that we have to walk… Whether we continue the path, change directions, or begin a new path that we were lead to through another connection at one point… It all has to begin somewhere.

And so, I stand proud and humbled to see where many of my decisions and relationships have lead me in my life, and I appreciate the incredible support and unconditional love I receive everyday from people I’m close with and connected to. I can only hope that I am as big of a support to them as they are to me. It’s amazing to even see the connections your able to make with people that you hardly ever see, maybe only speak with through social networks, yet know the bond you have with them has impacted yours and their life.

Someone I have admired for years and follow regularly is author and public speaker, Brene Brown, who wrote the quote that I used above. I believe in it full heartedly. It is the connection we build with others and the impact we make in one another’s lives that make life worth living. I believe it’s the choices and directions we take that makes life more exciting and fun to look back on, rather than the things we don’t do and later question what may be different had we done the unknown.

So I say, we appreciate and enjoy the connections we made, the great relationships in our lives, and take a look back every once in a while to remind yourself how it all came to be, and that you’re currently exactly where you should be, because it’s already molding your tomorrow.

Sparkle On ♡

-Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Knowing Your Happy Place

May 22, 2013May 22, 2013 Aurora3 Comments

It has been exactly three weeks since I’ve posted here. This is interesting for me to talk about, since I’ve posted pretty regularly (usually once a week), since the beginning of the new year. To be honest, I began to worry about when I would post and what it would be about when I reached the two week point and hadn’t been inspired to talk about anything specific. That’s the thing about my site; I won’t ever post about anything I’m not passionate about or things that I believe won’t add value to the people around me. It took until this morning for me to realize that it was okay I hadn’t posted anything in awhile, and to reflect on why I hadn’t done so, and move forward.

The truth is, the last few weeks, I began feeling like I didn’t know who I was. I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself (my beliefs, values etc), was acting differently, and even began treating the people around me differently than I normally would. The part that was shocking to me, was that I recognized it the whole way through but felt like I couldn’t bounce back. I felt powerless in my own thoughts.

Has this ever happened to you?

As someone who typically is aware of who they are and how they treat others, the last few weeks really threw me for a loop as I began trying to understand what was going on with me. And while I thought about a lot- my relationships, certain situations, good things, bad things (and everything in between), I finally reached the point where I told myself to calm down and relax.

The last few days, I went on a trip with friends to Florida and had the opportunity to clear my head. I had no idea how much I would appreciate this time away, until I was there and had an overwhelming feeling of relief. As I lay under the palms trees and the warm sun on the beach, I can tell you that I literally did not have a care in the world. I was in my happy place, and nothing before those moments or the future moments to come mattered. And I think this is what it all comes down to. In the times where you need to be reminded of who you are, who you want to be and what’s important to you, can you recognize what your “happy place” (or people, memories, values) are and know yourself well enough to go there?

I was reminded today and in writing this now that my website is one of my happy places and that I’m grateful I have it as a way to connect with so many of you. Not a day goes by where I don’t interact with someone about something they saw on the site, or hear how it has inspired them in one way or another.

What these last three weeks have taught me is to recognize my happy places regularly, go to them when needed and be appreciative for what they provide. What are your happy places? And when was the last time you went there?

Go to your place and get some air,

Xo Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Forgiving… And The Ability To Let It Go.

May 1, 2013May 2, 2013 Aurora7 Comments

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

There is no need to sugarcoat this. The word forgiveness is something that brings up a lot of emotion for me, as it does the same for many I have spoken with about the subject. To forgive someone can be hard, as well as asking someone we hurt to give us forgiveness. In thinking about this lately, I ask why is it so hard to give and grant forgiveness?

So let’s break this down: Ego, Insecurity and Fear. Why is it so hard to ask to be forgiven? Or, in other words, offer an apology. The first stop would be to identify what’s getting in the way. Ego… feeling that you don’t need to apologize, or are better than the situation. Insecurity… are you insecure about the situation?… Afraid to open up or be viewed as vulnerable/in the wrong? Or, fear, do you think that the issue is so severe that apologizing wouldn’t do any good and isn’t worth the shot?

I can tell you that I’ve at one point or another felt all of these ways in my life, and I’ll give you the advice that I eventually made my way to: Get Over Yourself. When you identify what it is exactly that’s getting in the way, the answer should never be something that involves YOU and your insecurities, drawbacks, worries, etc. When you care about a person or situation, your intent needs to be around making things right, regardless of how you’re perceived or viewed by others and how hard you need to swallow your pride.

Bringing me to 2. Why is it hard for us to forgive those who have hurt us? Well, this breaks into an A & B category: Has the person apologized and you’re unwilling to accept the apology and forgive them, or have they not extended an apology and you’re holding resentment because of it? A. We all have needed forgiveness in our life. Accept apologies and allow yourself and the other person to move forward. Forgiving breaks the chains of anger and resentment, even when it’s not easy. B. The HARDEST time to forgive someone is when they’ve hurt you (no matter how severely), but are unwilling to apologize, or do not recognize that they need to be forgiven. These are the most important times we need to let it go. You cannot change the way people think or their ability to be accountable for what they say and do. As Smedes says, you need to set the prisoner free… In forgiving at this moment, you’re doing that- for yourself.

My stance on forgiveness is this: in times during my life where I have done wrong by others, I’ve learned that it’s always better for both parties when you own up to the wrong you’ve done and clear the air when necessary. This doesn’t mean the person will accept your apology, but at least you will know you’ve done the right thing and can move forward from the situation. Whether you are the one giving or receiving forgiveness, I challenge you to let go; you can’t move forward without doing so.

“Learn from mistakes, admit when you’re wrong and apologize when it’s due. Forgiveness isn’t the problem… people are sometimes too proud or stubborn to ask for it”

Forgive, for yourself.

Sparkle on, Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Genuinely Being Positive

April 19, 2013 AuroraLeave a comment

I made this quote into a picture because I love it and have always believed in it’s value. We live in a world where it’s easy to take someone who is always happy and in a good mood and categorize them as something negative. “You’re too happy,” “How can you always be smiling?” “You know, some people might take your optimism as being fake or think you’re a push over.” (Those are a few of my favorites). This has to be one of the biggest battles I have faced over the years, because it’s hard for people to believe that genuinely happy people do, in fact, exist.

It hasn’t been a battle in that I feel a need to defend myself, rather, I struggle in helping others see that many live their lives this way, and choose to put their best foot forward each and every day. It’s a choice. You have to wake up each day, or decide in difficult moments, that instead of letting difficulty, anger, fear, anxiety, jealously or negativity take over, that you are knowingly and willingly going to choose the higher route.

This subject came up in speaking with my best friend the other day, as she was dealing with a situation similar to this and knew I would be able to relate. It is not easy being a positive source for the people in your life, especially when at times they are determined to try to provoke negativity within you, or worse, doubt that you’re being genuine. It’s people like my friend who remind me that it’s worth it to live positively and this makes me appreciate our friendship even more.

So why is it viewed as UNrealistic for us to lead a life that’s more positive, or has a silver lining in difficult/challenging times? Because it’s easier to get angry, react impulsively, yell, blame others, be in denial, etc. As with many difficulties, the challenge is to recognize your behaviors, overcome undesirable reactions and change!

As I write this, I must begin getting ready for work, have not slept all night, and am looking forward to a long 10 hour day ahead with no rest. But I’m still optimistic because I got to write for all of you and it’s FRIDAY.

Let’s do this together, shall we?

Xo Aurora