Happy New Year!

December 31, 2017January 9, 2018 AuroraLeave a comment

This is the best thing about a new year… it’s a chance to start new!… a fresh clean slate! The best thing about the past year… it’s gone! It’s amazing- one single day can make such a huge difference when you think about where you’ve been and where you want to go. The new year is a chance (and fuel) to kick of something you really want to do or reach for a goal you really want to obtain.

Let tomorrow be your chance to kick off the new year in a way you’ve been wanting to! Don’t want to start any changes or resolutions tomorrow? Then don’t!… the same energy of the new year can be there once you’re ready! One of the biggest failures of resolutions is starting when you’re not ready! The holidays can make it hard to set your goals in stone, so take your time!

As an optimistic person, the line that caught me here is the final one, and I believe this to be true: only the best is yet to come. 🖤

Happy New Year xo< em>-Aurora

Eliminating The Negative In Your Life

October 26, 2017 AuroraLeave a comment

Let go of everything that negatively effects your life. The people, the places, ALL of it.

I have talked about this topic before… because you all know how much I love to preach the positive lifestyle, but I let some negativity in recently, and I have to tell you, the reminder to STOP and take a step back helped me so much. So much so, that I wondered how often it is that we find ourselves going down the rabbit hole and before we know it, we’re body deep, and are struggling to regain our footing.

So what happened? We all have those few people in our lives that bring us anxiety or stress, OR they serve as triggers to specific instances in our lives that brought stress, anxiety, negativity, pain, etc etc etc. When I was in the presence of one of these people recently, they did the same thing they always do– they minimized and put down something positive and exciting that I shared, to justify their opposite, negative view. UGH.

So I went down the rabbit hole…

I spent the next hour thinking: WHAT A JERK!!!!!!!!!! SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE!! (Of course this was inside my head– I’ve learned to keep thoughts like that to myself, esp. in an initial response).

I let my mind wonder, doubted myself and allowed for this persons comments to make me think negatively toward myself. “Do they have a point? Why do I think this is so great? Do other people think this way?” Self doubt, self doubt, self doubt. Exactly. What. They. Wanted. See, here is the thing: I know this person typically has a glass half empty attitude, and puts others down when feeling envious, or even, jealous. So part of me is correct… this person hasn’t changed. What CAN CHANGE however, is the way I let it affect me… the way I let it go. So, after this hour passed, I literally said to myself:

This has nothing to do with you. Any negative comments or energy from that person is THEIRS- there is no need for me to take it on as mine.

So here I am… some time after this happened, and while I’m proud I was able to talk myself through it, I thought it was important to share. Negative people, places and instances are all around us. Our biggest, strongest weapon against negativity in our lives is our own ability to look it in the face and see it for what it is. And when you can do that, and you no longer feed it, you can let it go. All of it.

It’s certainly a work in progress, but I’m committed to letting go of and eliminating as much negative from my day to day as possible. When you let the negative in, you decrease the room for light, happiness, growth and my favorite (you already know), positivity.

What negativity are you trying to let go of in your life? Are they people, places, both? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

To kicking it Positive,

Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

2017- The Year of What Is

January 22, 2017January 23, 2017 AuroraLeave a comment

I am officially calling 2017 The Year of What Is. So, what does this mean exactly? Think of the saying: “It Is What It Is.” For years, I didn’t like this saying because I thought it was a way of sweeping things under the rug. I thought it was a shrug of the shoulders and the allowing of something to pass by that maybe should be addressed, understood or discussed. I found that friends, family, people I look up to- would all use the phrase when they felt like something was out of their control or couldn’t be fixed, changed etc. When I think deeper about this now, I think the reason I didn’t like the saying stems from my own inability to believe that some things are just what they are. You cannot change them. Whether it was something that happened to you, a relationship with someone in your life or an outcome to something you wish had been different. It’s not what you want it to be- It is what it is.

In a recent conversation with a friend, we got to talking about certain situations in our own lives currently that rather than trying to understand and fight, that we needed to accept and understand that these things can’t be what we want them to be. They are going to be what they are.

*THIS WAS SUCH A HUGE MOMENT FOR ME*

Are you following me here?

I don’t know why or how, but in that moment the saying meant more to me than it ever had. “It Is What It Is,” is not a shrugging of the shoulders, rather, it’s the acceptance that something cannot become what you want it to be just because you want it to be that way or because you want to understand it. In a relationship that means a lot to you, in circumstances at work/home, something you really want for yourself, the lose of a loved one, the pain of a past experience- it is WHAT IS. However- the thing we are able to control in this experience, is our reaction to it. How we proceed with our feelings and the way we view it (the friendship, job, argument, relationship, shortcoming, failure, pain), is up to us. You can’t always change “it,” but you can change the way you feel about it.

I’ve always been one of those people who tried to help change others, if I felt like they needed “fixing.” Whether it was an old boyfriend, troubled friend, a coworker- the therapist in me was always at work trying my best to be there for that person and often offered 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances in the pursuit of trying to understand them and help them become a better person. Some might say I was doing that to feed some of my own ego, and that while I was trying to help them, there was some gain I was trying to obtain for myself. I won’t argue that- I know it has felt good to know you would have contributed to someones happiness or self-discovery, so I won’t say this is too far off track. But I can say, that “fixing” others, or helping them change for what you think is best, is exhausting. This is why accepting WHAT IS is so important. Even with the best intentions, putting so much energy into trying to help, understand, or change someone else or situations only depletes the energy you’re giving back to yourself… and I am finally beginning to understand that.

So I am saying 2017 is the Year of What Is, but I plan on moving forward with the idea that I can’t always control or understand things, but than I can control how I view them and how I allow them to effect me. As someone who has a strong faith and often turns to prayer for solace, comfort and direction, I think this is a strong tool to help these feelings and understanding that you won’t always be able to control the outcome.

I hope this makes sense– maybe it even enlightened some of your thoughts too! If so, please let me know in the comments and I will reply shortly after.

Happy 2017 to all of you!.. best wishes for a healthy new year and accepting what is.

Aurora

Photo cred: I took this photo of the beautiful “Liberty Bell Church” on Hamilton St, Allentown Pennsylvania from my office.

Motivation · Uncategorized

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

March 26, 2013March 26, 2013 Aurora8 Comments

Respect. This word is specifically important to me this week, as I’ve seen examples of it all around me and witnessed situations where I saw great respect and places where I wished I saw more respect. It’s amazing, because like many things, I feel respect is something we learn as we grow up. What do our parents, teachers, role models, heroes teach us about how we should give/take respect? Whether it’s respecting ourselves, others, our job, our relationships, our property, our hearts, etc. we’ve learned what we give and what we accept from somewhere.

Growing up I was taught to always respect myself and others will respect me. This came from my family and my karate academy, which taught me how to carry myself and how to put positivity forward. Of course, you can’t control others and their upbringing, but if you emulate that you accept nothing but respect, others will only give that to you.

When you experience disrespect, that’s where you need to step back and evaluate where that person or situation stands in your life. Meaning, is this something worth salvaging, or am I showing this person/job/relationship that I’m accepting of their actions and think I’m deserving of them. We all have someone in our lives who may have shown disrespect, but they’re deserving of our understanding and discussion to make things better– I’m not talking about these people. This would mean we’re all perfect, and I know we’re not (as a 25 year old, I still get the respect speech from a parent every so often).

I think what I want to focus on mainly, are the people/relationships/job/situations where we are continually not getting the respect we deserve and are putting up with it. We’re displaying the message I WILL TAKE WHATEVER YOU THROW AT ME and leaving these moments feeling less than what we deserve. I have so many places in my life where I feel respected so much, that it’s easy for me to spot when I’m not feeling that in a specific situation or moment. Not all of us are in this boat, but nonetheless YOU deserve to look into these areas of your life and demand better.

We all deserve healthy environments where we feel respected, and furthermore, where we DEMAND respect, by the way we treat ourselves and encourage others to treat us. Are you strong enough to let go of the disrespect in your life? And can you identify it? You can!.. And you owe it to yourself to do so.

Respect yourself, and each other.

Aurora

Uncategorized

Be Nice to Yourself! The Power of Self Talk

February 27, 2013February 27, 2013 Aurora1 Comment

Self talk: the words we use consciously and subconsciously when talking to ourselves. Their affects can be either positive or negative, which will influence how we feel in a particular moment (or longer) and ultimately can cause our behaviors to change.

Self talk is that little voice inside your head that encourages your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Some examples of negative self talk would be: I can’t; This is never going to work; I should give up now; What I’m doing isn’t good enough; I’m not good at this; He/ She won’t ever like me; I’m ugly; I’m not smart enough; I quit; This ONLY happens to me; I NEVER get what I want.

Positive self talk: I can do this; I know things will get better; It’s still going to be a good day; I know with more work I can have what I want; I’m beautiful; I can work hard to succeed; I am not perfect; It’s okay to make mistakes; I love myself; I’m going to make sure I fix this now.

The difference between positives and negatives are the key words we’re using:: CAN, CAN’T, ALWAYS, NEVER, etc. Situations, especially when stressful, easily cause us to use negative self talk and continue down the road where we use ourselves as punching bag and feed into the negativity.

This self talk, however, is different for all of us as we all come from different backgrounds and had different upbringings. How your parents or guardians raised you, how you learned to cope with issues, your experiences with your peers as a child, all influence the way you talk to yourself and the confidence you have in communicating with others. If a child is constantly teased by their peers, and perhaps received the same message at home, it would be assumed that the way in which they speak to themselves may be in a negative light, since this is what they receive from the majority of their relationships and feel they deserve.

As an adult, I think it’s important to be aware of this talk as it happens, and evaluate if you’re being fair to yourself– or just beating yourself up over a situation– not a life changing event. Now, is not ALWAYS or FOREVER, it’s just, now.

So I challenge you to become aware of your self talk and see how it is you are talking to yourself each day and mostly importantly in moments where it’s easy to go down the negative route. And when something good happens, tell yourself the reasons why YOU are great and what YOU did to make it happen… Not luck, not someone else, not odds– but you.

You do not have the power to change all situations or outcomes, but you do have the power to change how you feel about them and the impact they have on your thoughts and feelings.

Remind yourself why you sparkle 🙂

-Aurora

Uncategorized

The Power of Positive

February 5, 2013February 5, 2013 Aurora3 Comments

I posted this on my Facebook a few days ago, and since doing so, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from my friends and family that they really liked it and re-used it in different places! Some reposted on Facebook, some on Instagram or Twitter, and one even made it the background on his phone to have as a daily reminder and motivation. What is this quote saying and why is it so likable?

For me, it’s because it gives hope and inspires you to surround yourself with the POSITIVE thinkers, and those who live a life of DOING rather than letting life pass by. Who do you surround yourself with? How do you feel when you’re around this people? While it might sound like a trivial question, think about it. Do the people in your life lift you up and want the best for you?… Or do you find yourself being dragged down by them and their weight (drama, baggage, negativity, etc)?

If you’re like me, you may have the “savior” complex where you want to always bring the people around you UP, and essentially put up with others “weight,” because you want to help them come around or become a better person. But, how fair is that to you? At some point, the pressure and stress or carrying around others negativity or half-empty mentality will pay it’s toll. We all owe it to ourselves to be lifted up by the people around us, who “see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it in yourself!”

As it says, SURROUND yourself with the dreamers and the doers. Who in your life is seizing moments and opportunities as they arise and live life to the fullest? Who’s life do you want? Think about it that way. Who do you admire, want to be more like, look up to? Those are the people you should strive to be around.

I once lead a discussion for formerly incarcerated people and recovered addicts that outlined the importance of weeding out the negative in your life. In this, we talked about how the negative people and influences in your life will always have a way of pulling you down, and making you believe (whether you realize it or not) that you’re not deserving, or able to find, anything better. There is nothing in your life that you don’t have the power to walk away from. Nothing.

We will all have our moments. I do all the time. But when the people I care about have their moments, I make sure to be the one who reminds them of the greatness (good life, career, relationship, attractiveness, success, etc etc etc) and they would, and do, the exact same for me.

The people who dream, believe, think and do are the ones who are LIVING. You too can do it, just make the decision to let go of the negative and move forward. It really is that, easy.

Sending you the Sparkle,

Aurora