Friendship · Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Sorry Doesn’t Make It Okay

Grab a plate and throw it on the ground.
-Ok, Done.
Did it break?
-Yes.
Now say sorry to it.
-Sorry.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
-No
Do you understand?

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Wow. My cousin sent this to me as its been a topic that she and I have discussed a lot over the last few years. I think it’s a harsh reality that many of us have to face every now and then when the friendship we broke, or a friend broke with us, just cannot simply be repaired.

You try and go back to where it was before, and that place just doesn’t exist anymore. What makes it a harsh reality is that whether or not both parties want to go back to that place, the friendship is forever changed. One or both of you saw a side of that other person that you didn’t know existed… Or better yet, never existed towards you.

I speak from experience in knowing what it is to be on both ends: the breaker and the breakee. I’ve always prided myself on being a good friend and doing what I think is right toward all people. Unfortunately there have been a few times that I can look back on and wish I had made better decisions based on the needs/expectations of my friends and what the situations called for. While hindsight is always 20/20 and everything is clear now, at this point you need to accept that things won’t be as they once were, and adapt to the way they are now and will be.

The other end of this that I have been on is where you have been hurt by a friend, and whether you want it to go back to how it was or not, it’s simply not an option you can let yourself get to. I have wanted to go back to normal with a friend a few times now, but there are limits to what we can consciously allow ourselves to do. Call it what you want, but when someone burns you, or doesn’t think enough about you before hurting you, sometimes our hearts just won’t allow us to go back— which is okay. It’s the harsh reality.

My advice for this however, is that we try our hardest to never let our friendships get to this point. Sounds easier said than done you say? Well, it’s not. It all comes back to the golden rule and a little extra thinking. You treat people the exact way you want them to treat you, and beyond that, think about how the other person feels and how they will react if you hurt them. We can’t be perfect, but it is possible to be pure and genuine in thought.

To the friendships that sparkle in your life…

♡ Aurora Beani

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Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Graduation, Success and Looking Ahead

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“When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world, try not to bash into the walls too much, try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”
– Steve Jobs

http://t.co/rsS3FmJtoE

I had the opportunity to watch this video a few days ago, and I knew it was something worth sharing. Steve Jobs is someone I have grown to admire over recent years, as it seemed like his influential and motivational speeches, comments, conversations etc came more to light before his passing. I lump the lessons I’ve learned from him with some of my other favorite, inspirational people, like Oprah, Ellen and classic go-to, Confucius.

Last weekend, I walked in my graduation from the University of Scranton where I received my Masters degree in Community Counseling and Mental Health. While I finished classes months ago, I knew I wanted to walk in the ceremony, as the sense of accomplishment and success hadn’t fully set in since completing my course work. This is probably how I stumbled across this video. Each year around graduation time, all of these videos, commencement speeches and books surface to inspire the grads as they move ahead in life. “Sky’s the limit,” “Oh the places you will go;” “Let your dreams and ambitions come true,” are all sayings and motivation we offer to those graduating in our lives to show them we believe in them and know they have the power to accomplish great things.

In hearing Steve talk in this segment, I’m inspired by the not-so-common approach he takes when looking at achievement and success in life. He says, “…life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.” I LOVE this. He’s right. The world we live in tells us what our successes can amount to and what is expected of us as we strive toward greatness.

I guess what I gather from this mainly, is that we are the ones who can define for ourselves just what greatness is. This is why I’ve begun my journey and created The Weekly Sparkle. This is what my site and definition of Sparkle is: become your best self in the way that YOU define it. Go against the grain. It is so easy to fall in line with what society tells us and expects of us. I am by no means saying we shouldn’t want a family, good career or to “stay in the lines.” I’m simply saying that the greatness within you can be one that the world has never seen; spinning a new way to influence others and add value to the world we live in.

My desire in life is to break the mold, be different, inspire others and leave the world a little bit brighter, just because I was here and impacted the lives of others. As I reached another great milestone in my life, I’m reflecting upon the amazing experiences I’ve had so far, where they can take me, and the blank pages ahead of me that are open for my interpretation and ability to make a change.

I want to continue to pass the Sparkle to all of you, and challenge you to do the same for those in our life. Go against the grain, and be bold.

Sparkle strong,

Aurora

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Community Giving · Motivation · Uncategorized

Attitude of Gratitude

I feel like a major theme of a lot of things I discuss is strongly focused around the subject of gratitude. Meaning, overall attitude; is it thankful, appreciative, is there acknowledgment of the good things going on in our lives, or the things given to us? Do we take a second and be thankful for all the things going right, or can we only focus on what we don’t have or wish we had (more of)?

It is always easy to see and complain about what it is that we don’t have. Right?

I read the quote a long time ago, and each time it pops up in my life, I feel like its for a reason…

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How spot on is this in many of our lives? It’s so easy to complain about how we don’t have enough of what we want, or aren’t happy with aspects of our lives. The challenging piece is recognizing it in the moment and changing our thoughts. We can control what we have and don’t have, but it’s socially acceptable and normal to voice what you’re unhappy with, rather than praise all the good things going on.

I feel like this is particularly hitting home for me now, because I have so much to be grateful for yet I find myself focusing on the things I want to change in my life, and areas where I feel like I’m not good enough. The truth is, I am good enough. And I know this, but it’s the negativity and stress of everyday life that makes us all question ourselves, what we know we’re good at, our intentions, our capabilities, and so on and so on and so on.

So I’ll end by saying that I’m grateful for my relationships. All of them. I’m gracious that I am related to some of the most supportive, amazing people I’ve ever met. In addition to my family, I’ve formed friendships and bonds with other people in my life that lift me up and motivate me to become a better person. They say, you are who you surround yourself with, and if that’s not enough to make me grateful, then I don’t know what is.

Sparkle on, you!

Xo Aurora