Goals · Motivation · Self Realization · Uncategorized

Becoming An Adult

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It’s amazing to look back on to areas in my life that helped me grow into the person I am now. I’ve always been a huge believer in the fact that we will become what is put into us as a child and adolescent. What we learn, who we look up to, what we’re told is important and what we see with our own eyes, is what molds us into the adults we will become. I’m often complemented on my positive outlook and ability to see the goodness in bad situations. Having come from a childhood where I was taught to believe the best in people and to always let the good shine through when everything seemed bad, I can see where this comes so naturally for me today as an adult.

In the same respect, it would be easy to understand where people can be molded in an opposite way. When you grow up surrounded by turmoil and don’t have the best role models, how can you have strong expectations of what it is to be an adult? It’s not easy. It is with hopes that there is one person in your life who can help pull you from the rubble, or that you have it within you to rise about your previous circumstances.

I’ve had the opportunity to know people who are self motivated and moved beyond their current or past situations. Let me take it a step further as to what I’m defining situations or circumstances as: they’re the times in our lives when things unfold in a way that doesn’t seem right or is less than desirable. This could be a tough family life, financial issues, drug or alcohol abuse, neglect, etc. While we may struggle to figure out what’s right and wrong, there are always resources and people there to help guide those of us who need it. You just have to be open to {and want to} find it.

It’s not always {ever} easy, but those of us who can, have a better possibly of being a great role model for someone in the future.

Does that make sense? I hope so.

One thing many know and don’t know about me is the I’m a 3rd degree black belt and trained in one of the best martial arts academies ever created. From the age of 9 the life lessons and skills I learned through Hoover Karate Academy are some that have taken me father in my life than I could have ever bargained for. It was ingrained in me to have self discipline, self respect, self control, self confidence, self defense and self awareness. When you’re a child, you don’t know what some of these large words mean, so it was always easy to understand when my teachers broke down “the Selves” and explained them in a way we could all understand. To this day, the Selves are ever so evident in my adult life and I look at them every day on my refrigerator.

They serve as a reminder that we never stop growing, we’re always moving forward, you must always treat others how you want to be treated, you have to love yourself {so you can love others}, you must have power of your emotions {so they don’t have power over you}, and lastly, we must always give more than we have, to get back what we need in return.

SELF DISCIPLINE – Doing your obligations before doing what you want to do (desirables). Doing what you know in your heart to be right, regardless of popular decision or persuasion.

SELF RESPECT – Learning to like yourself for who you are so that, in turn, you can learn to like others for who they are. To treat yourself with respect is also to take care of yourself and your body. Also, always follow the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

SELF CONTROL – Self-control means being in command of your emotions and your actions at all times. It means not letting your anger or fear cause you to do or say something that is harmful or hurtful. It also means being aware of your body and what it is doing.

SELF CONFIDENCE – BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Know that you can be successful. To be self-confident means being proud of yourself without putting down others.

SELF DEFENSE – Protecting yourself and your loved ones only when pain or threat of pain exists. In the martial arts, you do not throw the first strike. However, you need to be prepared in case someone else does.

SELF AWARENESS – At all times, you should know what is around you. You also need to know what is inside of you. By being self-aware, you will be better prepared to deal with everything in life. You will also be able to do the things you need to do to improve. The martial arts can help us become more self-aware in many ways.

It all starts when we’re children and what is put into us by the people responsible for us, and the ones we look up to. So when you’re a role model to someone, put everything you can into them, knowing you can be helping to mold a future. And when you’re quick to judge someone who acts in a way you don’t agree with, remember, we’re all fighting and have fought, our own battles.

Whose life can you make a difference and sparkle in?

-Aurora Beani

Friendship · Motivation · Uncategorized

The Loss of Friendships

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This is something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile, because I’ve seen some friendships around me fall apart, and seeing how it has effected the ones I care about has made me wonder what others think. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt as though I lost someone’s friendship that really meant a lot to me, but over the last year or two, I’ve seen some of my best friends lose close friends to them, and I’ve lost a close friendship of mine as well.

A close friendships that dissolves can be painful. In a conversation I’ve had recently about this, I said losing a close friend feels like a breakup. Isn’t that the truth though? This person hasn’t died, they didn’t move, they probably are still in the same proximity to you as they were when you were close, but all of a sudden, they stop actively taking a part in your life and you in theirs.

At 26, I look back in my life and see all of the ‘best friends’ I had and who meant a lot to me all these years, and it’s easy to see that we lose a lot of our close friendships along the way simply because of maturity, different interests, life, etc. These aren’t the friendships I’m talking about. Of course, many of us have friends that we’ve had almost our whole lives, and those are friendships I believe we need to cherish and nurture… But not all of these friendships have lasted until now.

At this stage in my life, being in my mid-twenties, I believe that friendships we lose at this point and forward are because of an extreme situation, immaturity or the inability to see eye to eye (or understand) the person you once knew very well who now looks like a stranger.

Extreme situations and maturity often go hand-in-hand, because while we all have moments where we wish we would have said/did things differently, as long as the level of maturity and respect is there in the friendship, the relationship you have and want to preserve will always prevail. Hold on to these friends. I have people like this in my life, and I’m more and more thankful for them everyday. Apologies, an open mind and understanding go father than you could ever imagine.

The inability to see eye-to-eye with someone you once really cared about, is the hardest one to swallow. This typically stems from the maturity issue or extreme situation that one of you we’re unable to step up to and discuss. This is one that I feel mostly effects me, and makes me upset to look back on, as I’ve always tried to be someone who looks for the best in tough situations, and wants anything more than to resolve issues and move forward. It is hurtful, when the person, or people, on the opposite end cannot, or refuse to do the same.

Any friendship worth fighting for needs understanding, openness and maturity.

The friendships we lose, where we just don’t understand what happened, are the ones that either deserve another chance, or are the ones you were fortunate to get away from. If in your heart you know you’ve done all you can to salvage a relationship and it still isn’t alive, it’s okay to let it go and move on, for yourself. If you have a past friendship that you think about and wish you had done things differently, regret is the worst form of self-hurt. It’s never too late to make things right.

I’m interested in hearing what others think about this.

Have a great day friends,

-Aurora

Goals · Motivation · Uncategorized

Graduation, Success and Looking Ahead

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“When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world, try not to bash into the walls too much, try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”
– Steve Jobs

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I had the opportunity to watch this video a few days ago, and I knew it was something worth sharing. Steve Jobs is someone I have grown to admire over recent years, as it seemed like his influential and motivational speeches, comments, conversations etc came more to light before his passing. I lump the lessons I’ve learned from him with some of my other favorite, inspirational people, like Oprah, Ellen and classic go-to, Confucius.

Last weekend, I walked in my graduation from the University of Scranton where I received my Masters degree in Community Counseling and Mental Health. While I finished classes months ago, I knew I wanted to walk in the ceremony, as the sense of accomplishment and success hadn’t fully set in since completing my course work. This is probably how I stumbled across this video. Each year around graduation time, all of these videos, commencement speeches and books surface to inspire the grads as they move ahead in life. “Sky’s the limit,” “Oh the places you will go;” “Let your dreams and ambitions come true,” are all sayings and motivation we offer to those graduating in our lives to show them we believe in them and know they have the power to accomplish great things.

In hearing Steve talk in this segment, I’m inspired by the not-so-common approach he takes when looking at achievement and success in life. He says, “…life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.” I LOVE this. He’s right. The world we live in tells us what our successes can amount to and what is expected of us as we strive toward greatness.

I guess what I gather from this mainly, is that we are the ones who can define for ourselves just what greatness is. This is why I’ve begun my journey and created The Weekly Sparkle. This is what my site and definition of Sparkle is: become your best self in the way that YOU define it. Go against the grain. It is so easy to fall in line with what society tells us and expects of us. I am by no means saying we shouldn’t want a family, good career or to “stay in the lines.” I’m simply saying that the greatness within you can be one that the world has never seen; spinning a new way to influence others and add value to the world we live in.

My desire in life is to break the mold, be different, inspire others and leave the world a little bit brighter, just because I was here and impacted the lives of others. As I reached another great milestone in my life, I’m reflecting upon the amazing experiences I’ve had so far, where they can take me, and the blank pages ahead of me that are open for my interpretation and ability to make a change.

I want to continue to pass the Sparkle to all of you, and challenge you to do the same for those in our life. Go against the grain, and be bold.

Sparkle strong,

Aurora

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